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Song Parodies -> "The Trek of the Enterprise Fellas"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Trek of the Enterprise Fellas"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

The length of this song/ is really far too long/ it feels like it took me forever/ I wish i could know/ i would get lots of votes/ to reward this painstaking endeavor
The engine is broke, there's a big black cloud of smoke
Since ya cannot change the laws of physics
Said time and again, I cannot do warp ten
But they still made me try it, those idiots

We were going quite fast, with the Klingons on our ass
All the Enterprise fellas were nervous
I dislike those creeps much as anybody
And I know that they wanted to hurt us

We'd be fine if Kirk hadn't been such a jerk
And flirted with that ship's captain's mistress
And at that frightful lass, I'd never make a pass
No matter how much whisky I'd finished

Since we can't move more, lots of Klingons are on board
Poised to slit human throats for their honor
And Spock did some math up in his head fast
And made the conclusion we were goners

They said they'd make wine from our captain's own blood
From that thought my stomach was ailing
Then Spock rid the ship using Vulcan Death Grip
Of the Klingons who had been assailing

I had survived so then I fixed the warp drive
After mourning a red-shirted ensign
He was twenty-two and nobody knew
The kid's name cause it just wasn't mentioned

With supper I filled
Myself up and took the pill which
Helps us never need the restrooms
And before I knew, it was ten fifty two
It was time to go sleep in my bedroom

And when I awoke, some big star was much too close
It was all on my shoulders to help us
When I'm stressed this much then I munch on my donuts
On the trek of the Enterprise fellas

Now William Tell's son had about this much fun
When his father was shooting the apple
I think most of us are not real religious
Although Kirk is sometimes in a Chapel

But throughout the day even Mr. Spock prayed
While I worked to build up the power
Some turned to McCoy and that made him quite annoyed
He said "I'm a doctor, not a preacher"

Saved from our death a lot of us left
For a nearby world using transporters
Thanks to the fact I am such a great guy
The transporters worked like they oughta

And we met a race down in that place
Who loved to do nothing but quibble
And their arguments served to get on everyone's nerves
Yes those guys were more trouble than tribbles

Now I wonder what's next, it is anyone's guess
Will we meet with some Romulan zealots?
We'll be okay no matter what comes our way
I have faith in the Enterprise fellas

The engine is fine, at least for the present time
Mr. Sulu's made a course for Vulcan
In about a week, I bet things will get bleak
Maybe rogues will try to bash our hull in

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael McVey - January 03, 2004 - Report this comment
This could make a Vulcan laugh!!! -- MM
Johnny D - January 03, 2004 - Report this comment
You made it so.
Guy - January 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Lot's of really great lines in here. Well done Ethan. One very good line:

"Although Kirk is sometimes in a Chapel"

This has just that same sprinkling of sex as the original show had. Nice move around the censor.

Kirk out?
Spock - January 03, 2004 - Report this comment
This parody is logical, but quite irregular. Get votes and laughter!
Scotty - January 03, 2004 - Report this comment
So now Cap'in, if yer done messin' with those Klingon she farers could we maybe be warpin' our way along now?
Adam Zen B. - January 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy the Chapel line was probably unintentional, but I'll let Ethan answer that. I mean Nurse Chapel, though Roddenbury's main squeeze didn't compare to all the others Kirk was sometimes in. Anyway Ethan, excellent parody. I like all the references only a true TOS afficionado would the ensign with the red shirts always get killed and noone knows their names. Good job.
Ethan Mawyer - January 04, 2004 - Report this comment
the nurse chapel line was intentional... the lines close to it were planned around that one. I don't actually ever go out of my way to watch star trek but i've seen a lot of it because my father is a really big fan, and the original is probably the only series that i'm not really tired of because i've seen so much of the other ones at mealtimes, often against my will.
Guy - January 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey - This parody deserves more than five votes. This was well done. Come on readers. Give a look, cast a vote and make a comment. I see Scotty made a comment and he's dead, what's your excuse?
Mari D - January 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Very enterprising, Ethan! Indeed, as Guy said, it deserves more votes. But the reality is that a lot of people tend not to read long parodies, no matter how good they are.
Melhi - January 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Not sure how the heck I missed seeing this, yesterday -- glad Guy gave a shout out in the comments! Great job, Ethan!
Michael Pacholek - January 09, 2004 - Report this comment
As Scotty himself would say, "Here's to ya, lad!"
Ethan - February 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Claude said i could vote for myself so i did
Johnny D - February 28, 2004 - Report this comment
See above.
MysteryGoat - February 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I've never heard or heard of this song or Gordon Lightfoot. Actually while reading it I had Johnny Cash's voice in my head. But beyond all that I wasn't really sure how to vote so i gave you a neutral 3 on funny, a 4 on pacing seeing as how it looked like it went hand-in-hand with the original, and 5 in overall because I love Star Trek.
Jack Wilson - February 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job! 5's!
Chris - February 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job Ethan. 5 stars. I have just added a new Shania Twain parody to the Shania Twain section that I think you would enjoy. There is even a link to a sample of the original song. Any comments or votes would be graciously appreciated. This is a parody of "Whose Bed Has Your Boots Been Under?" and although it says written by "Twain/Lange", it was ofcourse written by me.
Old Comedywriter - February 29, 2004 - Report this comment
The warp core got a little unstable at the end, but you were moving right along until the last part. You get the Federation Medal of Honor.
Jeff Reuben - March 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Not bad.
2nz - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
"Then Spock rid the ship using Vulcan Death Grip" <---funniest line in my opinion. Really good job on this.
Diva - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent! =D
Claude Prez - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job with a long song; can tell you worked hard on it.
martha - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Some really great lines in this loved the Vulcan.Hull in and .. transporter/oughta ...very clever..
khanada - September 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh my god... I laughed so hard I hyperventilated... This was GREAT!!!

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