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Song Parodies -> "The Man Kennedy, John Fitzgerald"

Original Song Title:

"Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Man Kennedy, John Fitzgerald"

Parody Written by:

Adam Bernstein

The Lyrics

Here is my tribute to JFK and the historic event of 50 years ago.
The legend lives on in the eternal flame,
in Arlington, history beckons.
Fifty years since, Mannlicher made us wince
We remember November twenty-second.
With eyes on '64, LBJ's state he toured,
Kennedy, John Fitzgerald came calling
Impeccably dressed, Jackie's taste was the best,
when something happened so appalling.

JFK's weakness was, chicks like Marilyn Monroe.
With her he was all touchy feely,
But little did he know, in Oswald he had a foe,
lying in wait in a plaza called Dealey.
As Presidents go he was better than most
Oswald's mind was like Wonderland's Alice
Curtain rods in his hand, or was it something less bland,
when they flew from Forth Worth down to Dallas.

Heading for the Trade Mart, umbrella man gave a start,
and badge man leaned over the railing.
Three shell casings found, on the sniper's nest ground
Lee Harvey's aim sure wasn't failing,
The President was late and the lunch had to wait
When the Marxist from Russia succeeded.
At Parkland they waited, with their breath baited,
D-O-A they finally conceded.

The culprit then fled as Walter Cronkite said,
That JFK died in the Big D
As Tippit pulled up, Lee Oswald was abrupt,
Again shots rang out as he did flee,
ā€œIt's all over now!ā€, Everyone heard him shout,
So much for hiding out at the movies.
They booked him for the crime, but he wouldn't do the time,
'Cause out of the shadows stepped Jack Ruby.

Oliver Stone said he didn't act alone,
Zapruder showed JFK fell back
Everyone jumped on board joined the conspiracy hordes,
Who couldn't be bothered by the facts,
It's been 50 years since the world was in tears,
We now know who did it for certain.
Lee Harvey Oswald, a man history called,
to change the world with rods for curtains.
Here is my Oswald Facebook group link:

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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 5   1

User Comments

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Patrick - July 10, 2013 - Report this comment
By a fluke of scheduling I was not at school that day. I remember watching TV as Walter Cronkite announced that the President had died. A rumor that Vice-President Johnson had been wounded or suffered a heart attack proved unfounded. A few years ago an Australian investigator set up a car with realistic mannequins and fired a 6.5mm rifle from the same distance and angle as Oswald shot. The bullet did exactly what the Warren Commission reported. If all the alleged conspirators had been there in the sewer, on the grassy knoll or toting rifles disguised as umbrellas, there would have been dozens of casualties. A somber tale told to the melody most fit for such tragedies.
Zen Adam B. - July 10, 2013 - Report this comment
Hi Patrick. Thanks for the comment. Yes, I heard a recording of the radio coverage which said LBJ was "shot in the arm and had a heart attack", and some other stuff, but they corrected themselves. Yes, I think one's worldview dictates whether they believe in reality or conspiracy.

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