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Song Parodies -> "The Wreck of the Man From El Paso"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Man From El Paso"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Time to pull The Old Switcheroo on two legendary story-songs. Both of which, as it turns out, have exactly 14 verses. Thanks to Airfarcewon for, sort of, suggesting it, following his mashups of "El Paso" and "Elvira."
The legend lives on from the "Bandstand" on down
of the ballad sung by Marty Robbins.
The singer, it's said, ended up shot and dead
and before its last beat, his heart's throbbin!

With a load full of verse, 'twere 14 of them, first
Marty told of his ballad's location.
The westernmost Tex, bordered old and New Mex
and a gunman's narrator's vocation!

The girl was the pride of cantina's inside:
'Twas Felina, the waitress who's dancing.
The darkness of eyes made the guy want this prize
but in vain was his hope of romancing!

A cowboy so wild hit on her, and not mild
and in seconds, both men had guns drawing.
The villain was shot, so out our hero got.
Jumped a horse, not exactly yee-hawing!

In the town of his birth, his life would have no worth
'cause he killed guy who'd felt up Felina.
But he's still obsessed o'er seeing her undressed.
More than deputies, his lust is meaner!

So he saddles his horse and he sets him a course
riding out from the Land of Enchantment.
Has he got it made? He has not, for displayed
is the sheriff's deputies' encampment!

Their suppertime came, but their cook let 'em know
he said, "Fellas, here comes that bad outlaw."
At 7 PM, that old posse moved in
sayin', "Fellas, let's go get him, yee-haw!"

Our hero looked in, and saw Rosa's Canteen
and Felina held his heart in lasso.
So he rode down the hill, knowing he could be killed
now that he was back inside El Paso!

Does anyone know how many deputies showed?
He thought 5 to one side, other, dozen.
That silly redneck, he might not be a wreck
if he'd only done married his cousin!

They might have split up, but he'd still be alive
maybe to see the 20th Century.
Instead he rode on thinking he'd get it done
thinking, "I cannot let those guys catch me!"

The Rio Grande rolls, and the cowboys they sing
but our hero, he could not deliver.
For something was dreadfully wrong for he said
that a bullet went into his liver!

And farther below, Felina did go
to the ground where the cowboy lay dying.
He's now much too weak, and she kisses his cheek
and he tells her goodbye, now she's crying!

In a musty old hall, there's a movie that's played
starring Salma Hayek and Will Sasso.
It's 50 years on and at last, film of song
of the wreck of the man from "El Paso"!

The legend lives on of this Wild Western song
that topped charts though ran nearly 5 minutes.
The song is something that is much fun to sing
but be glad, pilgrim, you were not in it!
And, as it turns out, Will Sasso, like Gordon Lightfoot, is Canadian. But then, that would be at the opposite side of the U.S. from El Paso.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - October 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Quite the western sonnet you've created here, Michael...just the right amount of humor inserted, reads very well, and a fitting addition to your mantel collection
Old Man Ribber - October 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Michael - WOW! As a newly-minted Wrecker myself, I proudly proclaim you to be Tyranosaurus Wrecks! ;D
John Barry - October 26, 2010 - Report this comment
A monster mashup.
ElCaminoLady - October 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Lord Pacholek, . . . the Lady Catherina kneels by her Douglas . . . kissing his cheek as he breathes his last sigh . . .
Patrick - October 26, 2010 - Report this comment
A skillful retelling of this sad old tale. Works just as well as did the original.
Michael Pacholek - November 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Today is the anniversary, 35 years: November 10, 1975. I don't know if those 29 men ever got justice, but I hope they rest in peace.
Paul Priore - November 10, 2010 - Report this comment
I hate you.

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