Incision thereon, lays small zipper-scar 'neath gown
For the big ache she had in her tummy
Her husband has said she is resting in bed
All relieved that prognosis ain't gloomy

Though through abdomen they bore; she's just a little bit sore
And both couple and TT are cheering
The good news was true: just adhesion or two
What a tale of benignity, hearing! [1]

My friend and his bride, to the best hospital, ride
Doc no flack; tops, this side of Wisconsin
As all surgeries go, it was quicker than most
While my friend had an ache in his Johnson

Approval confirmed under HMO's steel terms
When they left, fully ready for Cleave-land
And later that night, tucked in bed real tight
Much relief, that brave lady was feeling

The pain and its fires were a tattletale sign
TT prays: severely, not ailing
Took X-ray or two, and a CT scan through
From a twitch in spot tender, was reeling

NP-O eight, so the breakfast had to wait [2]
Ginger ale, she remembers, was splashing
Anesthetist came with some Prilocaine
On her face, did her courage attest: grinned

When snip-her time came, took a look 'round to check
Saying, "Interns, it's not rough procedure" [3]
At 7am, a clean pathway shaved in
Doc said, "Interns, got things good to show ya"

The surgeon cutting in, they had cauterized the skin
Ne'er he would slip, nor you put in peril
And later that day, diagnosis: Hip, Hooray!
Said to tech, "Good news, spread", and it's caroled

Does anyone know where your HMO goes
With its word and its infinite powers?
The surgeons all say, "You'll be home late today"
Ten or fifteen more minutes to bind her

She might have a cyst or she might have fibroids
I'm sure they looked deep as they oughter'
But all of her pains were from traces and remains:
Giving lives to her sons and her daughter

A neuron tolls, interior stings
Black and blue, skin; give her ice: fought expansion [4]
Still knitting at seams while well-hung man gleams
He's eyein' the days for their sportin'

And farther below, her scenario
Tells him that she's weary and tender
As ironic quotes go, TT's parody words flow
With details well-remembered to send her

In a surgical hall, quite adroit: invade -
- To the minimum; nail her adhesions [5]
The Turtle rhymed, ringing up 29 crimes:
"Get Well" planned, but instead, punned on lesions

The ligands bind on, as the stitches all come out [6]
No more big ache at all in her tummy
Superior display: lover lives by her bed
As the ails of dismember cure early




[1] As opposed to -- thank goodness, not -- "malignancy".

[2] "NPO" -- standard presurgical instructions, "nothing by mouth" (in Latin) for eight hours before surgery, except for the minimum possible fluids. (So while yer asleep, ya don't choke on yer own vomit or wet the operating table.)

[3] Hahvahd (Harvard) pronunciation, "procedyah", matches OS "feed ya"

[4] I. e., ice packs for the swelling.

[5] "Minimally invasive surgery" ... unless, of course, it's happening to you or to someone you love.

[6] "Ligand" (organic and biochemistry/medicine) = substance that can bind to a molecule, especially a protein, to serve a biological purpose.