The legend lives on from New Jersey on down
of the songs that I've written so spoofy.
Superior, some said, others shaking their heads
some just thinking I'm nuts and I'm goofy.

With a load of good cheer, close to Christmas one year
wrote a song designed to make you laugh, Jack.
For this site, my premiere, took song of reindeer
and I made it "Rudolph, the Blue-Chip Halfback."

The songs were the pride of the Hudson's west side
coming out of my Garden State cranium.
Some songs politics, some are different kinds of tricks.
Many come from arena or stadium.

Concluding some tunes of Republican goons
like Dick Cheney, a gun-toting fat thing.
But the dummy-in-chief, I gave him lots of grief
with my song, "I Don't Want That Bush As King"!

A-Rod spun around, made a tattletale sound.
With "The A of Rod," Alex, I deplored you.
But the Devils rang up, 'twas a third Stanley Cup.
For them, I wrote, "My Ice, I Floored You"!

John Kerry met fate, and the country had "The Wait"
when the votes of November came so lame.
When next September came, 'twas a bad hurricane
and for war, Bush says, "Of Course, I've No Blame"!

When history came, I stood out on the deck
wrote for Presidents, all two-and-forty.
At finish, said some, I was liberal scum.
They'd prefer if I stuck to stuff sporty!

When Arwen wired in a new song I did spin
'cause she don't like my Zeta-carousin'.
"My darling," said me, "I Saved the Last Song For Thee,"
and that stack of songs had reached one thousand!

Does anyone know where the love of God goes
when a song's played each hour on hour?
Such an "Eternal Song" is an infernal wrong
and makes me gripe and grumble and glower!

When the Spearses split up, those pathetic dumb guys
I wrote stuff 'bout their heads made of bolder.
They say Britney's nuts, but I had me the guts
to suggest pairing, "K-Fed and Coulter"!

The Welshwoman doll, superior to all
holed up in her Upper West Side mansion.
Old husband, he steams, stealing this young man's dreams.
It's beyond all of my comprehension!

I can't get her, and so, one I (well, sort-of) know
got to "beat her" in her Wyoming fortress.
Arwen and Zeta-Jones, the Elf shocked her Welsh bones
in "The Night They Fight O'er Me, They're Gorgeous"!

In a musty old hall in New Jersey I write
and my parody talent has thundered.
The website chimes for the umpteenth time:
For my stack of songs, now fifteen hundred!

The legend lives on from New Jersey on down
of the big flake they call Mike Pacholek.
Superior, I've said, some say I'm sick in head
but they'll never write more than this Polack!