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Song Parodies -> "The Wreck of a Roadtrip on Greyhound"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Wreck of a Roadtrip on Greyhound"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

The following story is, regrettably, completely true. Incredibly, "Mission Accomplished." I had never gone to see the Yankees beat the Indians in Cleveland. But what a price was paid, and I don't mean the 144 dollars for the round-trip ticket.
The legend lives on from Port Authority on down
of the bus service much worse than Amtrak.
It might seem real cheap, but they're still bunch of creeps
so be warned that it might be a scam, Jack!

With a load of bus riders, we piled inside 'er
at the 42nd Street bus terminal.
'Twould be 500 miles, but there would be few smiles
'cause the bus ride became quite infernal!

This crummy bus ride crossed to Hudson's west side
back into my home State of New Jersey.
I'd hoped to give thanks for a win by the Yanks
but unlike the Tribe, bus showed no mercy!

I had been sure, I'd thought, but it all came for naught
that we'd left fully loaded for Cleveland.
But bus-driver jerk, said, "Son, change in Pittsburgh."
And that's when I got big sinkin' feelin'!

A temping depot welcomed us, don't you know
as the Pittsburgh station's renovated.
A driver threw down with a rider in Youngstown.
Twenty minutes, their fight not abated!

The bus driver screamed at a kid, and it seemed
that his mother was quite apoplectic.
She threw mom and kids off the bus to the skids
and our ride had become very hectic!

When at last we arrived, sat in park's upper deck
saying, "Fellas, the Yanks better win it."
Giambi did clout, Melky too hit one out
and came good pitching from Andy Pettitte!

And at Jacobs Field, Pinstriped win was revealed
as the Yanks gave high fives on the Jake's mound.
But I had to get home, and to give me great groan
came the wreck of this roadtrip on Greyhound!

Again, said the twit, "You change buses in Pitt."
The layover should have been one hour.
But the New York bus full, and new bus they won't pull.
And we all could have used a good shower!

And eleven o'clock came and went to my shock
and we're stuck at the station past midnight.
At A.M. one-thirty, we're tired and dirty
the replacement bus wouldn't come in right!

One-thirty became two, and between me and you
couldn't get good drink from machines vending.
When three o'clock came, I did not feel some shame
when I said Greyhound lives should be ending!

At last came to load and head down the road
of the Turnpike there in Pennsylvania.
But the riders all know, it's a bad way to go.
"Leaving the driving to us?" Greyhound, shame ya!

On a musty old bus, through New Jersey we rolled
at last into New York we had barreled.
I asked, "What's the deal?" Could this be how it would feel
if I'd been on the Edmund Fitzgerald?

The legend lives on how the trip went all wrong
of the bus service that said, "So sue me."
Superior? It's said to suggest that's brain-dead.
And for work today, I was not early!
A bus leaving Pittsburgh at 11:15 PM is meant to reach New York at 8:00 AM. I didn't get in until 10:40, and that's without making stops in Harrisburg, Philadelphia and Newark. One way Pitt-NYC is 50 bucks, and I'm going to ask for that part of my trip refunded. I swear, if the Yankees had lost that game -- and the Indians fought pretty hard, it wasn't decided until the last pitch -- you might have seen me on the news, for starting the biggest riot in Pittsburgh since the Homestead Strike of 1892. I don't hold it against the city, especially since Greyhound is headquartered in that most hated of U.S. cities, Dallas. Greyhound: Since you can't afford the plane or the train, we can do whatever we want!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.1
Overall Rating: 3.1

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
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 2   3
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 3   2
 0
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 4   2
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 5   11
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 11
 

User Comments

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Peter Andersson - August 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Another one hates the bus. But then again, who doesn't? Did you write this on the bus MP?
Michael Pacholek - August 14, 2007 - Report this comment
No, it's kind of hard to write on a bus -- unless you've got a microcassette recorder with a tape in it, and I left mine at home. But let's just say the trip inspired a number of parody ideas that will reach this site over the course of the week.
alvin - August 14, 2007 - Report this comment
yipes...quite the horror story...fun to read though
Kristof Robertson - August 14, 2007 - Report this comment
The first time I went to the US, I took a Greyhound from NY to Buffalo...so I totally feel your pain, Mike. Here in Britain we have National Express....well, at least the "National" part of the name's correct. 555 dreary miles for you!
MrMacphisto - August 14, 2007 - Report this comment
You got some mixed reviews for this one, but I liked it...
stuart mcarthur - August 14, 2007 - Report this comment
There might be another TWOTEF-worth of material in your attempts at recovering a refund MP - I look forward to that instalment - 555
Peregrin - August 15, 2007 - Report this comment
A thoroughly enjoyable read, MP :)
John Jenkins - August 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Let me know when you make your Anaheim road trip, Mike. I (and probably a bunch of other AmiRighters) would love to take in an Angel-Yankee game with you.
Michael Pacholek - December 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Never did apply for that refund... but I didn't kill anyone at Greyhound either, so it came out even.

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