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Song Parodies -> "The Genre Called Russian Folklore"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Genre Called Russian Folklore"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

It has been explained to me that Russian folklore, songs and poetry is the saddest in the world. The most common theme is apparently how a stoic hero, after having endured tremendous hardships, cold winters without comparison and darkened forests without ends, still manages to fight his way back home, only to die in despair within a stone's throw from his old rustic village. Now if you are the kind of person that takes off screaming for benzodiazepines by unhappy endings like that you better stop reading right here, because to me the whole setup sounded like a fun write for my first take at "the wreck".
The genre might come - from Siberian moms
And I hear it is called Russian folklore
The thing is it's sad - and it always ends bad
After hardships are death always called for

Mostly set in the yore - where they lived on stomped floors
As did Ivan the herald in this story
This postal man knew - that his mail must come through
Nonetheless if the weather was roaring

His route was the pride - of Baikal's northern side
It went back, forth and home every season
He felt never wayworn - as he travelled forlorn
Never once called in sick, that be treason

He packed up his sack - and some dried beetroot snacks
As he left for the route that he had planned
And later that night - in the ol' pale moon light
He could hear the first wolf in the woodlands

The storm had him tired - but that was required
And he thought there's no way he'd be failing
So with his face blue - he did struggle on through
With his plight to deliver the mailings

Then snow came down hard - but as thoroughly scarred
He stood up as the ice flakes came slashing
When afternoon came - he was still up for game
But his horse now required some lashing

Their fate turned unfair - they encountered a bear
Limping forward as it been surmounted
With cold heart and skin - and the mare wearing thin
They both fell as Ivan tried to mount her

The horse it gave in - and became a has been
Ivan's whole trip and life was in peril
And later that week - so his legend bespeaks
Came the end of old Ivan the herald

As everyone know - the Siberian snow
And its winds have caused mammoths to quit it
He crawled all the way - and it's thought to this day
With just fifteen less letters he'd made it

With stamps higher prized - or some letters revised
He might have made safe from the slaughter
But all that remained - after wolfs made him game
In a shoe was a note to his daughter

The wolf pack it howled - and old Ivan was fouled
Within view of his house in the morning
Of Ivan it's said - he killed seven wolfs dead
But most legends are know for adorning

He fought tooth and nail - and he died for his mail
Coming through as a postal defender
And though postmen now plough - as the winter winds blow
Still that man from Siberia's remembered

In a forgotten grave - somewhere Ivan was laid
It got stamped by his wife, now ethereal
His death was ill-timed - she in week twenty-nine
She starved dead without Ivan the herald

This genre might come - from Siberian moms
Now you know how it goes, Russian folklore
It's always this sad - and it always ends bad
And in tune even this song's now done for

© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   11
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User Comments

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alvin - August 04, 2007 - Report this comment
thanks...now i don't have to read those thick books
Lionel Mertens - August 04, 2007 - Report this comment
I like the part were his stamped his grave. Ha ha. funny. 5's
AFW - August 04, 2007 - Report this comment
I knew nothing about Russian Folklore, till now
Red Ant - August 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Interesting take on this classic epic, Peter. Excellent rhyming and smooth flowing story. 555
Michael Pacholek - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
It wouldn't be an official "Wreck" parody if I didn't at least comment... Oh, please. You think Russian folklore is the saddest? Try Polish. We always got invaded by the Russians. Or the Germans. But I'm glad this parody drifted in. There's no business like snow business.
Peter Andersson - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Alvin: Not that you couldn't write a parody for every single page in "War and Peace"...

Lionel Mertens: I couldn't resist that one, thanks.

AFW: See Alvin's comment.

Red Ant: Thanks.

Michael Pacholek: That alternative actually crossed my mind when I wrote the intro, but then again we also have the folklore of Finland in between Sweden and Russia and that too should be mentioned if so. Now since Poland and Finland probably had most of their cultural elite quickly killed every time they were invaded whereas Russia sent their internal cultural opposition to a slow and cold death in Siberia I think the latter might win by a hair simply on being able to put words on paper before they croaked way out there, but I'll admit that's a quantity "victory" rather than one on quality if so.
Claude Prez - December 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Killed seven wolves, eh? A little can of pepper spray might do the trick just as well. Anyway, this is EXACTLY what it's like being a mailman in Indiana; very impressive. Bravo; well done.
Ellency - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
It would be really funny if it wasn’t so sad... Sad as the parody writer committed unthinkable blunders: 1) Russian folklore, as any folklore in the world – French, German, etc – is no genre at all. The tale, fable, novel are what one calls a genre. 2) Russian folklore is mostly a laughter and thought provoking one, having happy endings; stoic heroes are German folklore heroes. 3) Ivan is not an original Russian name, it appeared in Russia with the adoption of Christianity and is nothing else but the name John widespread in English-speaking countries. 4) Russian folklore formed in Kievan Rus; originally no Russian lived in Siberia, it became part of Russia much later. 5) Why in verse?? Conclusion: total ignorance can work wonders! – the parody really reminds me of the Old English epic poem Beowulf! :) PS I bet my comment will never appear in the message list – great writers brook no criticism. :) :)
littleCupCakes - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Kinda sad, as in what happened to SFO's Tatiana, the Siberian Tiger!
Huh? - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Ellency: You are entitled to your opinions, and some of your facts are propably true, and no seasoned writer here is ever ungrateful for feedback of any kind. However, from not recognising your name I take it that you do not yet fully understand the spirit of Amiright, or the the Amiright genre, if litteral and historical accuracy is what you're looking for, and want to comment upon and/or debate, parody songs are surely not your cup of tea. But then again, why don't you try to write a well-paced parody about Russia yourself, if you manage to keep it accurate it'll surely be appreciated, for that too.
Matthias - June 18, 2011 - Report this comment
This was a good introduction to Russian folklore (which is a topic I never had any real interest in investing any time studying). Not a fan of the original song but I'm not really a fan of any Gordan Lightfoot original song... So that's not your fault.
Agrimorfee - June 23, 2011 - Report this comment
A well crafted parody (As per usual from you Peter); it has a stately air about it that certainly fits the topic, as if Doestoevsky wrote it. Reminds me of every Japanese movie not made by Studio Ghibli...nobody lives happily ever after.
Rex - June 25, 2011 - Report this comment
Well, now I understand where the "life sucks and then you die" philosophy comes from. Excellent writing and a great job of creating an epic tale from a postman making his rounds.
Blaydeman - June 27, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Unique topic, well-constructed parody, great work!
Below Average Dave - June 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Aside from being my third flippin trip down this flippin song, I can't say anything bad about the parody, very interesting to say the least
bobpiecheese - July 03, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Very well-written parody here, Pete. You obviously weren't going for funny so I can't dock you there. If all Russian folklore is as depressingly pointless as you've made it sound, I don't think I'm gonna be searching for any of it any time soon. 555, with the middle 5 being for well-written instead of funny.
Syncronos - July 05, 2011 - Report this comment
I had to read this stuff in high school, so I get you. Wow...this is like building a house of cards on top of a stack of Leo Tolstoy hardbacks...ditto Bobpiecheese

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