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Song Parodies -> "Death's Ballad"

Original Song Title:

"I Will Survive"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Gloria Gaynor

Parody Song Title:

"Death's Ballad"

Parody Written by:

The Charnstar

The Lyrics

Have you ever realised what #!^*$ the teens off the "Final Destination" series are? I mean come on, Death's trying to do his job, he want's no hassle, but nooo, punk kids think they're better than him. So he wrote this song, and keep in mind, you have to be pretty familiar with the OS if you wanna sing it write, some parts are song so quickly you hardly notice you say them. It's weird, I know, but believe me, the pacing is correct to each silly-ble.
At first I had a plan
To blow up a plane
To clean overpopulation
But then some teens complained
Cause some weiner little punk
Had a preminitious sight
Thrown off the flight
And for some reason they all fight
it, I am death
I have to be
But these moronic imbociles
Try to go run away from me
So I kill them all really cool
So I kill them gore-ousomely
They don't stop to think for one second
How much it's annoying me

I do my job,
it's crappy pay
But I still get off
my bone ass every-freaking-day
Do you think I do it for kicks or to get high?
No, I do it for youse
So please, just kneel over and die
Don't try deny
They won't survive
They're up against the damn Grim Reaper
Oh no, Why won't they just die?
I spend every freaking day
Making thing's not go astray
But they're alive
They think they're jive (no way)

It took oh so many months
To go fix up the past
I'm trying hard to mend
all the seems of what happened last
But yet another loser kid
Had little preminitious thoughts
It made me cry
But now they have to say goodbye
They messed with me
Oh, yet again
They screwed up my mass highway pile-up
Just like on the plane
Why can't they just leave me alone
To do the work needed to be
But some new selfish little barstards
Made Final Destination 3

What the hell do
They do it for?
Why didn't they die?
And stay on the roller coast-or
So yet again, I have to go out of my style
Make 'em six feet under
Make even more teenagers die
Oh dear, oh sigh
Why can't they die?
Why can't they just accept what's to come
And see that it is their time?
They just keep asking for more
There better not be a "Four"
Cause I would die
If they have to die
(fading)
Once more, I'll di-i-ie
(faded)
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! I've been trying to write it for AGES but I never found a good song, and then one day when listening to this song I was like... O... M... G... I found my song, baby.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   3
 1
 1
 
 5   17
 19
 19
 

User Comments

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Matthias - October 03, 2006 - Report this comment
He must have some trouble against Wile E. Coyote, he dies and lives again every 2 seconds
alvin rhodes - October 03, 2006 - Report this comment
missed the movie but enjoyed the parody..sorry that the ones guy got ya
TJC - October 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice! And I'm not sure I've seen you use neologism-type techniques (such as "premonitious" and "gore-usomely") before...I approve!
Kristof Robertson - October 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Charny, your writing is improving exponentially every submission! This was really, really good. "Gore-usomely"...hehehe. 555
2Eagle - October 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Who is that troll? Anyway, that was a good twist on that stupid preachy Oprahesque soul song. Next, try to do a parody to "New Attitude".
Jack Wilson - October 03, 2006 - Report this comment
aka "They Wont Survive", great job Charnstar 555!
The Charnstar - October 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone, even for the all ones, I've never been attacked by the all 1's before, I guess I wasn't known well enough. Now I know I am truly worthy for ones (all the best parodies are oned, except the lucky ones)
Stuart McArthur - October 03, 2006 - Report this comment
excellent stuff, Charnstar! great idea seeing things from Death's point of view, and as you said in your postscript, the perfect OS to do the job - lovely pacing too - 555 (you're an Aussie, aren't you?)
The Charnstar - October 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Stu :-) And yeah, I'm an Aussie
PMS - October 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Totally Aussie-som writing you do. I agree with Kristof. Seems like your entries just keep getting better with each submission. I look forward to more.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - November 04, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Is this about Osama bin Laden and his merry men? (Just kidding). :-)
tomario - November 09, 2006 - Report this comment
loved the films and loved the parody 555 so don't come looking for me
Chris Bodily TM - November 12, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I've seen the last two Final Destination movies, and they are amazing, suspensful, thrilling, and intense. I have had an idea about doing a FD parody to the tune of "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm," and I probably will pursue it sometime. Killer job, Charnstar! 555
Jack Wilson - November 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Red Ant - November 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I haven't seen the FD movies, but didn't need to to appreciate this parody. Original concept having Death sing this, and a lot of good lines including "There better not be a "Four"/Cause I would die" which made me LOL. Excellent pacing as well. I couldn't reconcile the length of your parody with either GG version of this song that I downloaded though.
bobpiecheese - November 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) MIssed the movie, hate the OS...but the concept's just so stupid I just had to love it!
Michael McVey - November 27, 2006 - Report this comment
OK, Jason, or is it Norman..........? THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE YOU AWAY, HA HA, HO HO, HEE HEE!!!--MM
Agrimorfee - November 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Giggle-worthy made up words "premonitious" and "goreusesomely" made me enjoy this one.
Stuart McArthur - November 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) see above, and on second reading even more fanbloodytastic - great pacing and great irony - clever subliminal message here, Charnstar - you are on the up and up - loved the droll "Made Final Destination 3" too
2nz - November 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Very funny stuff, Charn. Especially liked
"And for some reason they all fight
it"
Also enjoyed the 'Final Destination 3' line. Good work.
Kristof Robertson - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above. Still quite impressed with this.
Phil Alexander - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Never come across "Final Destination" - one, two or three... so I guess I'm probably missing the point somewhere along the line.
Jeff Reuben - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Didn't see the movies, but I did get the gist of the thing. Interesting point of view, and well done matching it to the OS.
wannabemustangjockey - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Odd topic but it makes sense. I never saw the three Final Destination movies all the way through but I get most of your song. Not bad.
Tim Mayfield - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM: I want to be on the imbociles list, where do I sign up?? Great concepts, but not great executions... haha! ;-)

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