Song Parodies -> I Will Connive

Original Song Title:	"I Will Survive"
Original Performer:	Gloria Gaynor

Parody Song Title:	"I Will Connive"
Parody Written by:	Michael Pacholek

The narrator is Our Fearless Appointed Leader With a Purpose. And if lying to the American people about an issue of war or peace in the State of the Union Address is not an impeachable offense...well, it would be, if the Republican leaders of Congress weren't willing to excuse it.

First they said I lost, I was mortified!
Daddy said it was my right, could my Dad have lied?
But Jeb spent so many nights singing his election song
I grew strong, I just went and played along.

And in my ears, this great big space
inside this oval-shapey office with a smirk upon my face!
I'm dishin' out some awe and shock
the whole world's out there fearin' me.
But where's that Osama bin Laden?
And Saddam Hussein, where's he?

I gotta go, walk out the door
go back to Crawford, 'cause I'm not smirkin' anymore!
Wasn't I the one who made Bill Clinton say goodbye?
You think I'll crumble, and let Kerry come and fly?

Oh no, not I! I will connive!
Oh, as long as I have money my Presidency stays alive!
I've got all my lies to give, I've got a mind just like a sieve!
I will connive! I will connive! Hey hey!

It took all the strength I have not to fall apart
when those commie-libs were saying that I got no heart.
And I spent oh-so-many nights trying to cook up some big tale
so I could lie, and then blow Iraq up sky-high!

And you see me, and I'm not true!
But I don't need an election, baby, Georgie don't need you!
But that Massachusetts geek who actually went to war
thinks he'll make me lose next year the way I once lost to Al Gore!

I gotta go, walk out the door
go back to Crawford, 'cause I'm not smirkin' anymore!
Wasn't I the one who made Bill Clinton say goodbye?
You think I'll crumble, and let Kerry come and fly?

Oh no, not I! I will connive!
Oh, as long as I have money my Presidency stays alive!
I've got all my lies to give, I've got a mind just like a sieve!
I will connive! I will connive!

Oh! I gotta go, walk out the door
go back to Crawford, 'cause I'm not smirkin' anymore!
Wasn't I the one who made Bill Clinton say goodbye?
You think I'll crumble, and let Kerry come and fly?

Oh no, not I! I will connive!
Oh, as long as I have money my Presidency stays alive!
I've got all my lies to give, I've got a mind just like a sieve!
I will connive! I will connive! Hey hey!

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Robert J. Pagliaro - July 21, 2003 - Report this comment

Well done. Apparently, a president who has oral sex with someone in the country gets impeached, but a president who "copulates" the country gets away with it . . . for now.

Guy DiRito - July 21, 2003 - Report this comment

Mike - I thought I told you to stop with the cry baby "He stole the election" crap. Here are your own words. And you expect us to keep listening to your whining about this when you make statements to the contrary of what you say?````````````````````````````````````````````` `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Mike's words: ````` "When Al Gore ran for President, we voted for him. We're proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn't have all the problems we've had these last few years." `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/ricknelson3.shtml ````````````````` `````My response `````"So now you admit that it was a fair election process. Your statement says that he lost because Bush got more votes. So I don't want to hear any more belly aching from you about how that election was stolen from Algore. Your own words admit what you are really thinking." `````````` "thinks he'll make me lose next year the way I once lost to Al Gore!" You can't have it both ways Mike. Admit it, you know by your own words who won that election.

Misty - July 21, 2003 - Report this comment

Great pacing, Michael. I had to give a little off for content , tho :D You have great talent

Adagio - July 21, 2003 - Report this comment

Good job!

Michael Pacholek - July 21, 2003 - Report this comment

Of course I know who won that election. Al Gore. Or do you really think 10,000 elderly Jews in Palm Beach voted for Pat Buchanan? But if a few rednecks in the South used their brains and realized that they did better under Bill Clinton than they ever did under any Republican, and then told the gun nuts to shut the hell up, and voted for the correct man, instead of the right man, Gore would've had something like 350 EVs and Bush wouldn't have even been on the radar screen. There was a fair election process in November 2000. It was in Canada. It certainly wasn't in Florida, which is more foreign to American ideals than Canada is.

Guy DiRito - July 21, 2003 - Report this comment

No matter what you say now you still admitted in your comment that the election was actually won by Bush. Bottom line is that people other than you and I decided the outcome of that election so why don't you just get over it? I think you just like to bitch. In fact I believe that you would bitch if someone stole your garbage.

Michael Pacholek - July 21, 2003 - Report this comment

My garbage is one thing Bush doesn't have to steal. He has plenty of his own to dish out.

Guy DiRito - July 21, 2003 - Report this comment

He must have gotten it from NJ. I swear there is no shortage of landfill there. I swear every other exit off the interstates in Northern Jersey had a sign saying landfill with a white arrow pointing the direction.

Robert J. Pagliaro - July 21, 2003 - Report this comment

My fear, given the fact that the Supreme Court selected the current president (un-Constitutionally), could Dub-ya run for two more terms? Amendment XXII Section 1. No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once. . . I'm sorry, it has the "to which some other person was elected President " clause. We're safe until Rhenquist figures out a way around this one.

Guy DiRito - July 21, 2003 - Report this comment

Yeah, like real close, what are you smokin'?

Claude Prez - July 22, 2003 - Report this comment

This was funny; "mind just like a sieve" is great no matter which sports team--er, political party you're a rabid fan of.

Michael Pacholek - July 22, 2003 - Report this comment

A disclaimer for Claude: I wish I could accept your credit, but I plagiarized myself to do it. Francis Lawrence, the recently-resigned (Thank God) President of Rutgers University made some (unintentionally, he said) racist remarks in 1995, and became the subject of "A Boy Named Fran," to the tune of Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue": "With a heart like a rock and a mind like a sieve, I became an academic conservative." But that song's eight years old now, and wouldn't make sense if you don't know the original story.

Linda - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment

Gosh but the hours spent on lying to yourself are enormous! If sour grapes over your losing loser vote makes you happy, keep it up, be miserable! Funny thing however, there are so many polls out there for the possible 2008 presidential candidates for the demoncrat party - and Kerry is at the bottom w/an average of about 2.5% votes and the fattened cow crazy Gore is not doing too well either in all of them! Seems more people would vote for any Republican candidate over them, what a shame, huh? Losers in the house/senate for 11 plus years and the presidency, (after 2008), it will be 12 years loss there and when that person wins the reelection, it will be 16! Oh dear... can you "survive" that many more ego-filling, pride running parodies - that's a long time hun! Oh dear...sad little pups!

Linda - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment

PS You always have the option of changing parties and winning for a change. With an ego as big as yours, you really should consider it - we don't want you doing anything more crazy than you usually do, right? If you change parties, you can always vote for the best Republican for the job... if you do not, you can vote for the next presidential loser & lose again! Your choice big guy; but your party of extremists is not a very happy or lasting one.. sorry!

Hannity - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment

www dot paulshanklin dot com/audio/p_mama34 dot mp3

Hannity - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment

www dot paulshanklin.com/audio/p_vice2 dot mp3 and www dot paulshanklin.com/audio/p_simply7 dot mp3

Michael Pacholek - February 22, 2007 - Report this comment

There ain't a therapy strong enough to shock Sean Hannity into telling the truth.

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Song Parodies -> I Will Connive

"I Will Survive"

Gloria Gaynor

"I Will Connive"

Michael Pacholek

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