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Song Parodies -> "Lentils That Have Vined"

Original Song Title:

"Gentle on My Mind"

Original Performer:

Glenn Campbell

Parody Song Title:

"Lentils That Have Vined"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Ma’s sowin’ by the door legumes not knowin’
Will begat a three mile stalk
Jack makes a trade, Ma’s peeved and seething: lad
Cow up and cashed for seedling sprouts
Ill wind’s blowing: Mom, her hackles up, Jack’s gettin’ no viands
Hunger brings pains; he retires upon night-time
And sleeps, but when the sun rose he discovers to his wonder’y
To see those clever lentils now have vined

Now he’s climbing up the stalk and spies him castle
When an ogre’s frau she finds he
Was dumb thing, for that Englishman, because a
Giant sniffed him: fee-fi-fo-fum
Shit! Jack’s going with the knowledge he’s uncertain to be living
When a-napping soon was ale-blowed hulk aft dined
Jack, removing up the sackloads Giant’s silver, heads for stem’ry
And he slithers down those lentils that have vined

Then the hoard failed, Mum renews whine
Though a hulk guards all the high ways ‘bove that beanness
Yet another sudden voyaging abover
Not be spurned upon that stalk
To steal nice hen in slyness, that deploys some gilden eggs
And all summer long bright earnings will they find
But all too near that naggin’, greedy matron on to Jack goads

To repeat that goin’ up lentils that have vined

Jack nips back up legume-stalk for some burglin’ back in tall-man’s;
Glipses fine harp
Appeared a theft so fa-cile till a chirpy squawk
sqalled lyre; so fast must race
Toward land, down, he began
Sky descent unfolds, he shimmies fast and slides
Oge’s expiring ‘cus then Jack hewed at the sinews of that stem’ry
And be fellin’ clever lentils that had vined...

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - February 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Hobbits - Lovely telling of Jack And The Beanstalk! I don't know about fees, fos, or fums, but I'm going to give you three "fis". ;D
Neither A Bad-Ogre, Nor A Lentil Be - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
(c'mon, the other choice was "Stalker" ... ) I legume-lody very much! Superb wordplay got my "pulse" racing to 555!
Meriadoc - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Yeeeeaaaa! Two comments now! Thanks! (I cannot think of a worse stalker than a bean stalker - eeeew!) :-D

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