That the phone I'm hearing now?
And I'm just getting into my shower,
Some Thomas or Ralph I tell myself,
Solicits me at this hour.
Will calling ever stop,
When I want to buy, I'll shop.
Made an effort to,
Tell that call up crew
I don't appreciate
All their chatter.
Some say that it's research or from church,
With people praying, their job is tough,
They call me up,
They're long with their explaining,
Like quiet here at home,
My job's spent on the phone,
The phone again, kryminny!

Got a call only yesterday,
From this guy he sounded gay,
Looking forward to, lab rats won't do,
Would you like to come down and play?
I told him I don't go down,
He better not come around.
Never heard of such you must be touched,
Gonna call up those polices.
What's this all about?
As I shout, "good God have mercy",
And no, I don't know how to fist,
That could really hurt me.
No this is not Reed,
Wrong number, "Yes Indeed"!
The phone again, kryminny.

It seems that there are more calls,
Coming in my world so unintended,
I'm left offended,
What can I do?
What can I do?

---- Instrumental Interlude ----
(Sound of speed dial, answering machines and busy signals)

The phone again, kryminny.

They're just working their careers,
Got this phone growin' out my ears.
I try to hide, but they call worldwide,
How I wish they would disappear.
Could put my phone on hold,
And go out and take a stroll,
They call and demand with your payment plan,
To the one who brings home the bacon,
And then in they start,
'Til you pay them their gold token,
My plight does so discourage me,
So wish my phone were broken
Then at last I hit the hay,
But awake I seem to stay.
The phone again, kryminny.
The phone again, kryminny.