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Song Parodies -> "The Phone Again (Kryminny)"

Original Song Title:

"Alone Again (Naturally)"

Original Performer:

Gilbert O'Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"The Phone Again (Kryminny)"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

That the phone I'm hearing now?
And I'm just getting into my shower,
Some Thomas or Ralph I tell myself,
Solicits me at this hour.
Will calling ever stop,
When I want to buy, I'll shop.
Made an effort to,
Tell that call up crew
I don't appreciate
All their chatter.
Some say that it's research or from church,
With people praying, their job is tough,
They call me up,
They're long with their explaining,
Like quiet here at home,
My job's spent on the phone,
The phone again, kryminny!

Got a call only yesterday,
From this guy he sounded gay,
Looking forward to, lab rats won't do,
Would you like to come down and play?
I told him I don't go down,
He better not come around.
Never heard of such you must be touched,
Gonna call up those polices.
What's this all about?
As I shout, "good God have mercy",
And no, I don't know how to fist,
That could really hurt me.
No this is not Reed,
Wrong number, "Yes Indeed"!
The phone again, kryminny.

It seems that there are more calls,
Coming in my world so unintended,
I'm left offended,
What can I do?
What can I do?

---- Instrumental Interlude ----
(Sound of speed dial, answering machines and busy signals)

The phone again, kryminny.

They're just working their careers,
Got this phone growin' out my ears.
I try to hide, but they call worldwide,
How I wish they would disappear.
Could put my phone on hold,
And go out and take a stroll,
They call and demand with your payment plan,
To the one who brings home the bacon,
And then in they start,
'Til you pay them their gold token,
My plight does so discourage me,
So wish my phone were broken
Then at last I hit the hay,
But awake I seem to stay.
The phone again, kryminny.
The phone again, kryminny.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 47

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   45

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
They DO, other than wrong numbers, seem to find ways pass the 'do not call' list. 5's
Dee Range - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I can see why the people missed you on this site. Good work, 5's across
Rick D - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Hah! When they call me, I say "Hold on, I need to get something out of the oven." Then I pick up every minute or two and say "I'm coming, be right back!" It's a fun contest to see who waits the longest.
Cookie-man - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
YIKES! I hope that wrong number call wasn't from personal experience! LOL Excellent work! 555
Guy - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone. And Cookie-man, it's not from experience I assure you. I just have a very creative imagination.
Meriadoc - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
I loved the use of 'polices' ! ;-D
alvin rhodes - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
clever with perfect one i read today
Royce Miller - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Glad to see you around, Guy.
Johnny D - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Our Guy is BACK!! Hooray!! This line made me actually laugh out loud for real: "And no, I don't know how to fist, / That could really hurt me." LOL! Great job, Guy, 5's again, naturally!
2nz - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
I missed your clever wordplay, Guy. Where ya been? Top notch parody here. Especially liked the second verse.
Leo Jay - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Yep, that second verse is priceless.
Guy - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks again - that 2nd verse is also my favorite but I can't quite understand why. I really had a good time writing this one and it kind of broke me out of my slump. I'm so glad you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it.
Gilbert and Sullivan - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Well for us, Guy, it's the twist at the end -- you think it's some random perv call, which is moderately funny, but then when it turns out it's someone trying to reach a friend and getting a wrong number, good grief... plus the rhymes with the original lyrics.
Johnny D - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM AUG) Still a gut-buster! LOL!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) An idea from a cereal advert- set the microwave for five seconds and then pretend you're an answering machine. The title was golden.
Adagio - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) already voted...good one
Agrimorfee - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(jan 04 sotm) Good stuff Maynard
Arwen - September 10, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM--I don't know the original, but I totally know the subject matter!!! I'll try to check back before the end of the month, Guy.
Ash - September 10, 2004 - Report this comment
(sotm) I like it
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I donīt know what "kryminny" means, a bit of googling have led me to believe that it might be a substitute for "Christ", which I guess would fit here, but Iīm not sure so please confirm or explain.
Guy - September 12, 2004 - Report this comment
K1chyd - I tried looking that word up for spelling purposes when I wrote the song. I was unable to find it. So I took a stab at the spelling. It's a mild expletive used in an exclamatory fashion to denote frustration. What word (if any) that it actually substitutes for, I don't know. I did not intend it to mean "Christ" in any sense or fashion. In parody it was used to replace "naturally" as is obvious. It's a word you hear sometimes especially when someone is trying to project their frustration over something. I hope this explains satisfactorily to you what the author was trying to convey.
Phil Nelson - September 14, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This was ok. - September 19, 2004 - Report this comment
It's not often, alas, that one gets calls offering sexual favors - inadvertently or not. Heh heh. Great job, GD'R.

Interesting that you would use that particular non-expletive in your title, by the way. I'd always figured it was a Utah thing, like "Oh my Heck," especially when I heard it used in "Orgazmo" by Trey Parker's Utah missionary character. He pronounces it to rhyme with "jiminy," though, and I've always heard it pronounced the way you spell it.

Since I'm sure you're all extremely fascinated by this discussion, here's more I found on it:
Guy - September 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Spaff - interesting read on the origin of "criminy" - thanks. I don't think the word is used excluselvely in Utah since I can remember it being used a lot in my youth in Pa. where I grew up. Now that "Oh my heck" must be a Utah product because I had never heard of that before I listened to your "Elves Gone Wild" CD.
Phil Alexander - September 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Wasn't it the scientist and Sci Fi author Arthur C Clark who came up with the theory of what happens when a body is immersed in warm water: the phone rings?

Nice one, Guy :-)
martha - September 20, 2004 - Report this comment
great subject .. superb parody 5s all round again...don't you find it strange that the worst corportaions to deal with are those that are engaged in the communications business...very strange!
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
So my own findings wasn't all that off. Kryminny! :-)
Peregrin - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny, Guy. My 3rd place for August.
Claude Prez - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Gadzooks. Good stuff Guy.
Meriadoc - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Just as good the second time around. You know Reed too, eh? ;-D
Paul Robinson - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(AUG SOTM) Great job, Guy! Love the sentiments expressed. Finally put my phone ringer OFF and the monitor sound on my answering machine down...of course I miss some calls that I actually want, but not that many and I call back the folks I WANT to talk to. 5's. A "contendah" for my SOTM vote.
2nz - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I still like the parody. And I still really like the 2nd verse. Still really good, naturally.
AUGUST 2004 SONG OF THE MONTH BRONZE MEDAL - 1 - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment;topic=3009.0;id=1749;image
leo - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Very well done, and great solution to pace upkeeping "polices" You will probably end up a songwriter (if you aren't one yet)
Michael Pacholek - February 13, 2005 - Report this comment
How did I miss this one? Dial 555-SO-FUNNY!
Matthias - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Man... This is certainly an oldie. 4 years ago! Wow! Anyways, this one was pretty good. Telemarketers have like a 6th sense of something in order to know when you're about to step into the shower or you're about to sit down for dinner. I don't know how they do it.
Red Ant - April 06, 2008 - Report this comment
My first visit to this most excellent parody. You picked a great topic, one that I can easily relate to, and made it funny and well rhymed throughout. I'm glad you entered this one. 1-800-555-4GUY. PS: You might enjoy Dee Range's "Drowned In Silence", which was posted while you were away from the site.
littleCupCakes - April 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Guy, very good parody about a common problem that effects us all. Very well indeed!
Agrimorfee - April 08, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) Kryiminy, indeed this IS an old one.
bobpiecheese - April 10, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4) This parody may be old-skool, but it sure is awesome! Brilliant work Guy!
Below Average Dave - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) 42 votes on this one already, well pimped is a good way to put that, it's very funny though.
stuart mcarthur - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4) hilarious Guy - I too keep getting calls from Bombay and Calcutta (in fact, see my

...but none of them enquiring as to my fisting abilities - lol - 555
Invisible Boy - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment
I can hear you now... Guy. I kinda like this OS...if I can think of why, I'll give you a call...
Great job...

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