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Song Parodies -> "Ain't No Woman (And No Grammar Taught)"

Original Song Title:

"Ain't No Woman (Like the One I've Got)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Four Tops

Parody Song Title:

"Ain't No Woman (And No Grammar Taught)"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

I once walked into a bar and ordered a Budweiser. The barmaid said "We ain't got none" So I said, "Well I'll take it, then". She said "Didn't you hear me, I said we ain't got none!" And I said, "I understood what you said, so serve it up!" this went on until she threw me out. I wasn't gonna drink no Coors!
Ain't no woman and no grammar taught
Ain't no woman and no grammar taught
Ain't no woman and no grammar taught

Every day the words don't not quite fit her
She don't make no birds sing harmony
I'm not glad that I ain't wit' her
Must use double negativity
It creates no small confusion
But that's what this language be

Ooooh, ain't no woman and no grammar taught
The schools ain't getting' better
It ain't no problem if you don't get caught
She don't take no spit, (the opposite)
Fits together like a foot in glove
The law is not the letter
Ain't no englitch I don't push and shove

She do talk me up when we's conversatin' (when datin')
Put some comprehension in our slang
We a bit unsure in da communicatin' ('nacatin')
If it ain't got swing, it don' mean a thang
I could miss the sound she talks on
But I don't unnerstand word she sang, now

Woo-ooh Ain't no woman and no grammar taught
Well I miss the sound she talks on
To speak this crappy doesn't take a lot
She's a gooder friend right to the end
Fit together like a horse and dove
Lonely when she ain't not here
People, my first language I don't speak well of

Ooohh, what a good good thing, I'm glad
Or does good mean bad?

I ain't never gonna have her not
Ain't no language that I ain't not taught

(To quote Lou Costello, "I don't even know what
I'm talkin' about!)
Very hard to spellcheck this puppy.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

... - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, this was pretty good. 5-5-5
Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Internal rhyme sparkles throughout this parody: some samples...."I could miss the sound she talks on" ...... "To speak this crappy doesn’t take a lot" .... "The law is not the letter" ........ I sure ain't not gonna fail to not refrain from stopping myself from not refusing to give this 5's.
Paul Robinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick D - Yes, it's amazing 6 months ago I could not speak English and now I are teaching it.... 5-5-5
Billy Florio - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I aint not gonna give this 5s!
Rick D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Well I ain't never gonna not know nothing if I isn't gonna not try!
David Chrenko - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Liked your parody, Rick, and . . . oops, I goota not not run to the not head.
alvin rhodes - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
i would never not give ya no grade lower than no five for this parody
Jeff Reuben - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I was laughing before I even got to the song
Diva - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
You meet the most interesting people serving beer--DANG That there was a good-un! =D
Meriadoc - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
This was great Rick! I was always amused to see that in Russian it is not only acceptable but the norm to use multiple negatives: "I don't never want none" is a perfectly respectable sentence. :-)

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