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Song Parodies -> "Concert Divine"

Original Song Title:

"Karn Evel 9"

Original Performer:

Emerson Lake & Palmer

Parody Song Title:

"Concert Divine"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

When I went to elementary school in Los Angeles in the sixties, our class was taken on field trips to see things like “Hansel and Gretel” and “The Magic Flute”. I feel that the early exposure influenced my love of classical and in fact, all music. I feel the numerous public education budget cuts since partly explains the decline in the public's taste for classical and popular music. I am married to a flutist that plays in orchestras, usually for no money. When I attend, I am saddened that the crowd generally reflects “my generation” or even a couple that precede me. In this parody , I've thrown in some “in jokes” that fellow musicians may get. (Although have you ever noticed that on “Jeopardy”, the last category picked is classical music?)
Old and musty pieces, I wrote a thesis and I did learn
About some music gallant, where everyone had talent to burn
Where the tunes have lasted, through the ages casted into gold
Great composers rapture, though the tickets these days hardly get sold
I went there
I went there
I heard it there

Practicing for hours, the classics they play
That Bach and some Beethoven, in a wonderful way
Playing for revivals, that Ravel and Bizet
All is done for passion, not for the pay
I went there
I went there
I heard ‘em there

I found there's great fun, and the show is free
I found great power in a symphony
I hear the angels, and some devilry
The sound track of all our humanity
All for free, all for free, all for free

I went there
I went there
I heard it there
Some great musicians
And compositions
Free admission!

Look! It's a cello, with some music and a bow
He'll play with some vibrato
Grab a chair, grab a chair

We've got horns and strings, a conductor's wand that brings
Expertise in many things
From “Bo-ler-o” to “Hair”
Tune up
Tune up
Tune up
Here we go

They'll tackle every piece, and enthrall your aunt or niece
And the music will not cease
Just increase and increase

If you really care, it's a tuba solo, rare
Played by that musician there
On a dare, on a dare
Tune up
Tune up
Tune up
There they go

Next upon the stage is some music by John Cage
But there's nothing on the page
All the rage, all the rage
Once they're done with that, the conductor will come back
And an opera singer, fat
Won't sing flat, won't sing flat
Tune up
Tune up
Tune up

(Intermission where the audience mostly comprised of relatives of the players, and music appreciation students that have to attend in order to write a report. They eat cookies and discuss anything but the music they have just heard.) (All over that A-flat synth riff)

Welcome back the staff, for a rousing second half
Here's a piece to make you laugh
Trombone slide, trombone slide
You might want to pass, on the one by Phillip Glass
He's sort of full of gas
And too long, and too long

But just wait ‘til we get to Mozart
Night music to give you a kick start
Best to come, concerto by Chopin
Watch the guy play just with his left hand
You got to see him trill, it is such a thrill
You got to see him trill, if notes could kill.

Soon the big bassoon, as he takes on “Claire De Lune”
Will perform a novel tune
You will swoon, you will swoon
Next, performed quite well, is Rossini's “William Tell”
The old “Lone Ranger” it did sell
It was swell, it was swell
Hold up
Hold up
Hold up
See this show!

And for the big encore, there is always one piece more
Overture to “Pinafore”
Hear it roar, hear it roar
And as you exit, please, some musicians just might freeze
They accept gratuities
On their knees, on their knees

Come to symphonies
Come to symphonies
Come to symphonies

Hear us, please!!!

Regarding “Karn Evel 9”, (One of my favorite pieces of music) I believe only Agri has done this one. (and a fine attempt, too) It is a real challenge.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Nice stuff, Rick (and thanks for the props). Now one of us has to do the 3rd Impression to properly finish it (and BTW, have you considered finishing up your Jesus Christ Superstar opus?)!
alvin rhodes - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
tough song, but you handled it beautifully, maestro...5s
Rick D - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Agri. I considered going on with the solo careers, but as in real life, it wouldn't be as good as the first half Beatles part. I will look at 3rd Impression though. This prog rock thing has a more limited audience. I was wondering if you've ever heard any Gentle Giant, one of my favorite bands. They should have been much bigger than they were.
John Barry - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Fives for the Phillip Glass rip. A maximally tiresome minimalist.
Adagio - February 26, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, Rick, but I trust your pacing and everyone else's score on it. I noted the ruefulness that not very many people go for classical today..some shame they don't. 5's
John Entwistle - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
You might want to pass, on the one by Phillip Glass He’s such a tiresome ass And too long, WAY too long A hoot! Maximally boring minimalist, indeed.

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