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Song Parodies -> "Crypto-thug"

Original Song Title:

"Burning Love"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"Crypto-thug"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Tatzelwurm (aka Swiss Dragon) is a Cryptid creature that looks like a hybrid of a lizard and snake. It has a scaly feline face with serpent eyes, two front limbs with sharp claws, and a long snake-like scaly body. It has been reported historically near mountain lakes in Switzerland, Austria, and Germany. It has the ability to go up on land and preys on farm animals- mostly pigs. It attacks by slithering up to its prey and then uses its claws to rip it apart as its sharp teeth bites into the terrified animal. The Tatzelwurn then wraps it six foot body around the animal and won't let go. Many farmers in Europe claimed to have fought off the mystery creature with pitch forks and farm tools. A really weird cryptid, WW2 Luftwaffe units painted it on their Bf 109s and Fw-190s!!! Artist renderings vary...
Pretty frightening,
Type of body is surprising
Water riser
It's a black lizard/snake ghoul
Cruel, cruel, cruel
Animal blood its desire
It’s Alpine ranging
On land it moves really slow

Its hisses can bring terror
Some say it can belch out fire
Claws tear animal hides
This Crypto-thug

Oh, Oh, No,
The thing has come out of hiding
Help me, I'm screaming
I look into its evil eyes
Moving, moving, moving
It’s coming towards me
Is this one of God’s cruel jokes?
Hybrid serpentine!

Its hisses can bring terror
Some say it can belch out fire
Claws tear animal hides
This Crypto-thug

It's coming closer
Claws and slithers along the way
Hideous to see
Fear it’s going to take me away
Hard to believe
Now its body is a-heaving

Pretty Frightening,
But then something scares it away
Its hisses can bring terror
Some say it can belch out fire
Claws tear animal hides
This Crypto-thug
This Crypto-thug
Demon Crypto-thug
Horrid Tatzelwurm is a Crypto-thug

The Tatzelwurm is a Crypto-thug
The Tatzelwurm is a Crypto-thug
The Tatzelwurm is a Crypto-thug
The Tatzelwurm is a Crypto-thug
The Tatzelwurm is a Crypto-thug
http://www.ww2aircraft.net/forum/attachments/aircraft-pictures/42594d1299772114t-horrible-tatzelwurm-i-jg-3-tatzel3.jpg Cute cartoon depiction: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs40/f/2009/020/3/8/Conrad_the_Tatzelwurm_by_Kryptid.png

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   7
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User Comments

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Porfle Popnecker - March 16, 2012 - Report this comment
But do they make good pets?
Rob Arndt - March 16, 2012 - Report this comment
Probably not as it would surely try to eat the cat, the dog, the mice, the rat, and the fish too!!! The cartoon version artist rendering looks cool though, like it COULD be a pet; however, the name cjosen Conrad should be Germanic Konrad due to where it comes from ;-D
2Eagle - March 16, 2012 - Report this comment
As if tapeworms arent bad enough. Have an avocado - Peace!
Rob Arndt - March 16, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks guys! There also was a Tazelwurm car: http://oldtimer-veranstaltung.de/wp-content/gallery/retrospektive-tatra-ausstellung/Tatra-14.jpg Tatzelwurm means "clawed worm"!!!

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