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Song Parodies -> "Prophet Sham"

Original Song Title:

"Rocket Man"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Prophet Sham"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Ever have that one guy on the street preaching his patently-ridiculous religion to anyone within earshot? This dude knows one...
See this man all the ti-ime and si-igh
Cause he's shoutin' loud as he-e-ell
In my face 'bout how I-I-I-I-I-I'm gonna die unle-ess
I give him all my cash and spend my li-i-ife
With tattoos on my fa-ace
And nails in my-y-y-y-y left thi-i-igh

But I know it's bollocks, ev'ry word a-a lie
He's a clown in a gown who could be-e high
Can't trust this man to deliver u-us, no, oh no-o, no, no
He's a prophet sha-a-a-am
Prophet sha-am buggin' me, I'm tryin' to get home
Cause I know it's bollocks, ev'ry word a-a lie
Ev'ry shout he gives out's bullshit, I-I try
To block his crap from my brain, hate thi-is dope, oh no-o, no, no
He's a prophet sha-a-a-am
Prophet sha-am buggin' me, I just want to get home

Bars ain't the kind of place to flog that shi-i-it
They get viole-ent as he-ell
And if you're since-ere, the-e pa-atro-ons there are bli-i-itzed
So the next mornin' their minds will be bla-ank
You'll gain, then lose, five days a wee-ee-eek
Dumb prophet sha-a-a-a-a-a-am, dumb prophet sha-am

I'm sick of your bollocks, ev'ry word a-a lie
Not a doubt in my brow you're full o-of shite
It's all a scam to fleece drunks of thei-eir dough, oh no-o, no, no
You're a prophet sha-a-a-am
Prophet sha-am buggin' me, you won't let me go home
Stop givin' me bollocks, ev'ry word a-a lie
Won't come round, piss off now before I-I find
A sturdy plank of wood to thwack you-our nose, oh no-o, no, no
You're a prophet sha-a-a-am
Prophet sha-am buggin' me, asshole, let me go home

Piss off with your bollocks, ev'ry word a-a lie
I don't want your bollocks, cause it's made o-of lies
I know that it's bollocks, obvious-a-ass lies
Pure and total bollocks, I know it's a-a lie
Rack off with your bollocks, go on, take a-a hike
I've got my own bollocks, my own stash o-of lies
It's my schtick, you stole it, so you'd bette-er hide
My customers, not yours, let me tell my-y lies

...and wants him to stop hogging the sheep, apparently. Piss off, Heimskr, I've got a quota to meet!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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 5   1
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User Comments

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annimal - September 16, 2016 - Report this comment
5 he he's
Patrick - September 28, 2016 - Report this comment
I could picture Williams Shatner using these lyrics in a reprise of his inimitable version of "Rocket Man".

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