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Song Parodies -> "Crocodile's Cock"

Original Song Title:

"Crocodile Rock"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Crocodile's Cock"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Written after reading an article about a guy caught smuggling a large number of crocodile penises - turns out that some in parts of the world they're considered the Alt-Med equivalent of viagra.. now, that is worth a song, wouldn't you agree?
You remember when we was young,
Having nookie was so much fun
The thought of impotence was absurd
And "erectile dysfunction" just a couple of words
Man, what a crazy laugh we got
Finding people using crocodile's cock
No worse than tryin' any old schlock
Makin' aphrodisiac from crocodile's cock
Well, croc'dile's cock hand, it may sound jocund
If you don't want a blue pill
Oh, no I' ain't even tryin' because it's still workin fine
And I reckon it always will
Oh lawdy mama, those Friday nights
when we could always do it right
And the crocodile cock was nowhere in sight

But the years went by and potency died
Nookie went and left - ain't that married life?
Articles you read about "men's health"
Dreaming of the nights it could stand up by itself
Maybe I'm getting tempted... NOT
To try a-using a crocodile's cock
More disasters as it goes too fast
Thinking help from a crocodile's cock to last
Well, croc'dile's cock help just causes cock-up
when you need to understand
I never thought that I'd need help, but I guess I need a hand
Oh lawdy mama, you're so confused
Feeling more than a bit abused
The crocodile cock - don't know how it's used

I remember that you thought it fun
Thinking crocodiles were so well hung
So you got yourself a crocodile bone
And you're using it now, in place of your own
You're the biggest dick, a real clot
For using a thing called crocodile cock
While the other guys would slip it in their sock
Someone's buying and trying a crocodile's cock
Well, crocodile's cock in is something shockin'
Man, you need to get a grip
Look and you'll see that it splits into three
And has spines over the tip
Oh lawdy mama, it's stuck so tight
I think it might be there all night
And the crocodile cock... is out of sight

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

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Timmy - January 04, 2013 - Report this comment
Hiarious title and write!
Callmelennie - January 04, 2013 - Report this comment
You forgot the refrain -- Fi-i-ive ... five, five, five, five, five ...
Peter Andersson - January 04, 2013 - Report this comment
Using rhino horns or tiger balls I kinda get because of the symbolism, but wouldn't a croc's c*ck* be rather shrimpy after a full life in water (and sometimes cold water at that)?
Jonathan - January 04, 2013 - Report this comment
0_o 555!
Lifeliver - January 04, 2013 - Report this comment
Vintage-quality Phil A stuff, congratulations. Laughed all the way through. Fave: 'And your using it now, in place of your own'. Pity the poor recipient. Personally, I discovered the perfect aphrodisiac many years ago - women! I wish you five times.
Wendy Christopher - January 07, 2013 - Report this comment
Flippin' funny, with loads of clever lines. Although I'm closing my eyes and going 'la la la' when the images flash through my head, if you don't mind! A definite 555
Phil Alexander - January 07, 2013 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks all.. could have sworn I left something over the weekend. Must have forgotten to hit "send". Needless to say it was full of wit and repartee

Peter - apparently not: though I read they trifurcate & have spines on the tip, so I'm not sure exactly what kind of symbolism we'd be talking.
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec - November 14, 2015 - Report this comment
Wow! 5s

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