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Song Parodies -> "Rap Songs (Don't Say Much)"

Original Song Title:

"Sad Songs (Say So Much)"

Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Rap Songs (Don't Say Much)"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

DKTOS Click HERE

Lest tales of crimes when they all bleed and blare a bit insane,
'Bout yarning out their snuff plots.
The retardest "art" so auditory lame.
Is it crimes that please like "bloods" that bleed who cheer that audio?
To think it's hip that loud rap slinger,
Please don't share the trebles, leave that bass on low.
'
Burn 'em off, turn 'em loft,
Burn off them rap songs.
This dope they call song,
Why do Youtube 'em and burn them on?
'
They screech like sonic boom (Whoa oh oh ah)
I feel they're mental touched (mental touched)
When these dopes rap on,
Rap songs don't say much.
'
If someone's yelps is blubberin'; ENOUGH (OH) go quiet down.
When every snaggled word sounds dense.
They get sleazier like half them songs around.
They're slick to hide those lines denied that censories give the boo,
And conceal so good when dirt's their bad,
And buffer just enough to sling it through.
'
So, burn 'em off, turn 'em loft,
Burn off them rap songs.
Bitch slap hos they're fond,
Where is the tune and the sing along?
'
They're preachin' like a lune (Whoa oh oh ah)
Sounds Oriental-Dutch
There's no hope for song
You know rap songs don't say much.
'
Rap songs, don't say
Rap songs, don't say
Rap songs, don't say
Rap songs, don't say too much
'
So, burn 'em down, (burn 'em down) Oh, burn 'em down, (burn 'em down)
Burn those bitch slap songs,
'Bout dope smoke and bongs,
It's Loony Tunes like the crack they're on.
'
They screech and go vroom (Whoa oh oh ah)
And squeal like metal crunch (metal crunch)
They call these things songs,
You know rap songs don't say much.
'
This rap dope ain't song,
You know rap songs suck so much
'
Why's every little "bitch" and "ho" put down?
Rap song verse all cuss. (Ooh la la la la)
Why's every little "shit" all dope and con?
Rap songs all sound wuss. (Ooh la la la la)

Why call dope a song?
Rap songs they so suck.

------ FADE ------

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   16
 16
 16
 

User Comments

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Leo Keough - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Better watch your backside, there might be gangsta's on your tail...Great take on the genre!!!...555!!!
Timmy1000 - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Wow, I did have to go listen to the OS because I couldn't recall and yours matched up perfectly while listening. Great write, Guy! And I wholeheartedly agree with the theme you put forth - I guess I am just old style. Give me a melody.
Joe S. - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
The message is so true in this parody! Good job!! However I think this OS actually was from the eighties. Still I give it perfect 5s.
Tommy Turtle - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Had TOS confused with "Sad Movies (Make Me Cry)" by Sue Thompson; thought it might be a cover. Way to put the rap on Rap, Don Guy. Oh, and, uh, speakin' of gangstas -- takes one to know one? LOL! :D ;) :)
adagio - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Guy - You came back stronger than ever. This is a great parody!!!! Yep, give me melody too. :) Great pacing and rhyming, even in line rhyming. 5's
Guy - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Leo - Like TT says - takes one to know one. But it's just my rep, not really me. The gangsters that I know would make light work out of the ones I'm depicting in this parody. Thanks!

Timmy1K - I have yet to write a rap parody - I may do one and that would be an oldie by Tone Loc - "Funky Cold Medina". It is about the only one I ever thought was not half bad. It is actually the gangsta ones that I despise. This type has no redeeming social value what so ever and don't even go there to Eminem. Thanks for taking the time to listen to the OS so you could get the most out of this one. Glad you liked it and thanks.

Joe S. Whatever decade it is from most EJ songs are timeless. I really like his music and I have done a number of his OSes to parody. I like to use his lyrics in parody. Thanks for taking time to read and reply.

TT - I will not deny your statement. I grew up with mob guys all around the neighborhood. But these rap gangstas got nothing on the real mob. Thanks!

Pat - seems that I have a mistake in my parody name as well. That's what happens when you submit a parody at 4:00AM. I'm glad that was the only one i've caught so far. The title should be "Rap Songs (Don't Say Much)". But I'm not going to worry about that. Thanks for the high marks on my write. And if it ain't got melody, I can't do parody.
TJC - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
A great rap reamin', Guy... and I completely agree... yet my 3 kids seem to accept the genre as the norm and have strong opinions as to what's good n' what blows... makes me feel I'm just an ignorant cuss, too stupid to savor the nuances...oh, *uck it... all rap sux!
DJ Blaze - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I never understood rap. Except for rap metal, which is decent in my book. 555
Christie Marie M - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Yo, yo, yo, DiRito in the house! "Word" to the wise, imma give ya 5's! BTW, this guy I went to Community College with, he told me he's a reverend and I asked him if he listened to rap and he told me rap music is an abomination for reverends to listen to, so he listens to Gospel music instead.
Fiddlegirl - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
"Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art." - source unknown :D
blackjack21 - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice rap sheet Guy.
Andria - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Not much of a rap fan (although the foul language and explicit, often antisocial content of Eminem's work cracks me up), but this was a great parody that is 5-worthy in every way. And as for your response to Adagio's comment, I too don't write parodies of OSs without a decent tune.
Guy - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
TJC - Yeah my parents thought the music I liked was radical as will your kids think the same of the music that their kids listen to. I will be the first to admit that my parody is very much biased toward the music that I like, but then it is my parody. Thanks TJC.

Christie Marie - I'm a huge fan of Gospel music but I would never parody one. When I do my Christmas parodies I use only secular Christmas OSes. Not all rap is bad. The gangsta rap with the profanity, cop killing and general anarchy is what the parody opposes. But I don't listen to very much rap at all. I don't play it on purpose but every once in a while I'll hear one either on the radio or TV and think to myself that this is not so bad, but this is a rare event. Once I've heard it then that's enough for me. Thanks for reading and commenting.

DJ - For some reason I figured you right as to not be a fan of rap. Now you got me with "rap metal". I have an 18 year old here that will tell me what "rap metal" is I'm sure, or I could just look it up on the internet, so thanks for tuning into my parody today and leaving your comment.

Fiddlegirl - Great analogy - I agree 100% - Thanks.

A♣ J♣ - Just don't let the cops get it into their records. If I have to have a rap sheet let it be this. one. Thanks.
alvin - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
i agree heartily....rap songs sound like male cheerleaders with tourettes
John Barry - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm with you. Especially don't like collections of rap (CRAP).
Guy - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Alvin - LOL!!! Brilliant analogy. You and I have both done parody on tourettes so I can really appreciate your comment. Thanks buddy!

John you'd get the same thing if you mixed country music with rap - they'd probably also call it CRAP. =;-) Thanks!
Matthias - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
This was great! I did a parody about hating rap music before: "Don't Rap It's Bull-Crap" to Alan Jackson's "Don't Rock The Jukebox": http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/alanjackson16.shtml (Even though I have no room to talk because I do rap songs a lot)
Star Kid Orwell - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
I remember the OS from late spring 1984. I knew a little about rap at that time, it was still pretty knew and "innocent". The earlier groups like Run - DMC and the Fat Boys put out some good clean stuff (and created rap-rock too). When 2 Live Crew came around it was a pivot point. Then NWA's violent message and stealing ("sampling") became the norm. The first rap records did have something to say then it got all derivative, banal, juvenile, smutty and junky. RAP today is CRAP but it wasn't always that way and it doesn't have to be that way now. Great job!
Star Kid Orwell - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey John Barry. I heard that joke before - Jay Leno said one night after a Grammy awards show. Just like rap was once vital, country is now a bunch of Barbie dolls singing putrid tunes that ain't good for nothing but shopping mall opening ceremonies, flag-waving jingoists who "support the troops" by waving a beer and cheering at the TV set, or the assembly line "hat acts". Taylor Sniff and Carrie Underwood Chicken Spread are signs that country music is dead. Country + Rap = CRAPOLA and man does it STINK!
Abbott Skelding - September 10, 2010 - Report this comment
ABC: Never heard the original song, but this was a huge FU to rap..nice work good sir!
Agrimorfee - September 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Hugely funny, Guy...unlike many of your pun-filled songs, the wordiness didn't detract from the humor for me this time...I think the stupdendous matches on the rhymes helped.
bobpiecheese - September 23, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC5) Setting aside the over-abundant slagging of a music genre I heavily enjoy, there was a lot of weird lines in this one ("squeal like metal crunch" and "sounds Oriental-Dutch" in particular stood out as WTF) and a not a lot of critical substance (as in the parody slams rap for only the most stereotypical attributes, which always irritates me). I think I'll stop here before debating over what sucks and what doesn't ensue.
Bilbopooh - September 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Usually not a big fan of rap for reasons you mention. Once in a while one will surprise me, but nice skewering of the rest!
Below Average Dave - September 26, 2010 - Report this comment
The genre deserves it, you know me a grammar, but still good.
Andria - September 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job- voted once before, albeit from a different computer, ISP and IP address, so I won't vote again. Good work as always.

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