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Song Parodies -> "Sorry, Seems You Do Not Bring God's Word"

Original Song Title:

"Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Sorry, Seems You Do Not Bring God's Word"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

No, it's not a cheap shot at the memory of Jerry Falwell. But there are too many right-wing maniacs who twist the meaning of Christianity to support their own bigotry. I guess they forgot Jesus brought people free health care, saved a prostitute from being punished, and even -- Horrors! -- dined with a tax collector. This oughta fix 'em (and they know who they are): Using a song by a gay man who recently got married.
What do I do to make you love them?
What do I do to make you care?
What do I do when all of mankind
wants to know why your heart's not there?

What do I do to make you see it?
Bigotry's not what He's preferred.
What will you say when it's all over?
But, sorry, seems you do not bring God's Word.

You're bad.
(You're bad.)
So bad.
(So bad.)
It's a bad twist of religion.
And you won't like what it's conferred.

You're bad.
(You're bad.)
So bad.
(So bad.)
Why don't you just start over?

It always seems to me
that, sorry, seems you do not bring God's Word.

(instrumental break)

You're bad.
(You're bad.)
So bad.
(So bad.)
It's a bad twist of religion.
The hawk and not the dove's your bird.

You're bad.
(You're bad.)
So bad.
(So bad.)
Why don't you just start over?

It always seems to me
that, sorry, seems you do not bring God's Word.

What do I do when it seems Sermon
on the Mount you've ignored or not heard?
Why do you have such paranoia?
What have we got to do?
What have we got to do?
Well, sorry, seems you do not bring God's Word!
Jesus was a liberal. Or, if you prefer, Jesus was a "leftard."

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.0
How Funny: 1.9
Overall Rating: 2.0

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   4
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User Comments

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John Jenkins - May 27, 2007 - Report this comment
If it helps you to embrace Christianity and to worship Jesus Christ; then, by all means, please consider Jesus a liberal. But I would also encourage you to refer to Jesus in the present, not past, tense.
Max Power - May 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Agree with you Mike.
Steve K. - May 27, 2007 - Report this comment
That's funny. I can't find any where Jesus preaches in favor of abortion, gay marriage, or government taxation as the means to help the poor. And to that adulteress whom he saved from a future Bob Dylan song, he said, "Go and sin no more."
alvin - May 27, 2007 - Report this comment
amen
Michael Pacholek - May 27, 2007 - Report this comment
John: It doesn't matter what I consider: The man of whom the Bible speaks was a liberal. And not all the Falwell types alive today -- or alive last month -- will change that. You want to speak of Jesus and God in the present tense? Go ahead, since it hurts the "conservative" cause. Steve: Jesus never says a word about either abortion or gay people -- a dirty little secret the right wing doesn't want people to know. As for government taxation, there's the little matter of rendering unto Caesar. And it's funny that you mention Dylan, since he had plenty of Biblical references, and that was before "Slow Train Comin" in 1979 -- regardless of whether Jesus would really forgive the "Masters of War" for what they do. Then again, as Father Mulcahy taught us on "M*A*S*H," He was an exceptionally good sport. Nevertheless, I thank both of you for taking the high road in your comments. Doing otherwise is a rather nasty temptation, and I don't always make it myself. Max and Alvin (and whoever else offers a comment of agreement): Thank you and God rest ye, merry gentlemen (and, should there be any, ladies).
Real Thing - May 28, 2007 - Report this comment
The dirty little secret of the left (who are not really liberal in any sense of the word) is that Jesus nowhere condemns "bigotry" or "homophobia" or any of the other fake "sins" the left accuses real Christians of committing. I see that as usual, Pacholek, you cannot read the Bible. (Not that you'd ever try. It contradicts every part of your political agenda at every turn. That's your real religion, after all: your far left political agenda.) Jesus was not a liberal, just as you are not a Christian. He would not vote as you vote, nor agree with you and your fellow pharisees, who load others down with heavy tax burdens and laws from which you conveniently exempt yourselves, and yet will not lift a finger to help the poor (Matthew 23:4). Jesus did not come to abolish the Law or any of the teachings of the prophets in the Old Testament (5:17-20), but he did come to bring temporal division and strife between even family members (Matthew 11:34-36). Jesus is God, and therefore the author of Deuteronomy and Leviticus, where sodomites and child murderers and everyone else you praise for their evil deeds is sentenced to death and Hellfire. He also blinds people like you to the Gospel, that you may be cast into Hell along with them (Matthew 13:13). That is why you cite anything but the Bible in support of your lies--you cannot hear God's Word, for you are Satan's child, you do not know Jesus, and Jesus does not know you.
The Gay Voice - May 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Whatever "Real Thing". . .there is only one true judge, and I'll let him judge me. . .The Bible is a book, and like any other book, it is written by men. I find it convienent that anything that would prove the book to be wrong (like genes and hormones being proven responsibile for homosexuality) is lies and evil, I don't particularly care for fiction- You believe what you want to believe, but don't shove your book down my throat, because I'm tired of people like you and your religious fanatical friends trying to control how I think, look, walk and feel. . .you can't, and won't--God does, the real God, not the one your book makes up stories about.
Michael Pacholek - May 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Yikes, you root for one hockey team called the Devils... Isn't in interesting that this supposed "real thing Christian" cites high taxes as his first complaint. It always comes down to taxes with you people. (And, by "you people," I don't mean people of any particular religion.) I can't read the Bible? Sure, I can. I read this, now you read it: "Judge not, that ye not be judged." -- Matthew 7:1. Right from the King James Bible, a "real thing" you choose not to recognize. The Bible was written by men, based on their understanding of God at those times. God is love, not hate; were it not so, the New Testament would never have been necessary. Until you understand that, you are no more a Christian than George W. Bush is a conservative -- or a Christian, for that matter. I'd rather be called un-Christian by you than be insulted any other way. By the way, history has established that King James was gay. I'd say to put that in your pipe and smoke it, but King James also spoke ill of tobacco.
Dean - June 04, 2007 - Report this comment
I assume that you are mostly American, but I am not (I'm Northern Irish) so I don't really understand what the issue behind this tax debate is : surely we need taxes to run countries? If I've missed the point there, please forgive me. As for the other issues, homosexuality is wrong, but no more wrong than any other sex outside marriage. As for gay marriage, it's obviously not a true Christian marriage, but then again so few marriages are these days. But if people want to get married for social rather than religious reasons then I don't see the real difference whether they are same-sex or not - it is meaningless. Abortion was meantioned as well and I would be against it but as far as I can tell the Bible is not totally black and white on the issue so that it just my intrepretation of the general feeling behind the teachings in both the Old and New Testaments.

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