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Song Parodies -> "Couldn't Handle All the Wind"

Original Song Title:

"Candle In the Wind"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Couldn't Handle All the Wind"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Vicki Lee Hogan grew up telling people she wanted to be the new Marilyn Monroe. She came much too close: Broken home, changed her name, became a blonde bombshell, posed for Playboy, got Playmate of the Year, married three times, struggled throughout her life with her weight and her health, became one of those people who's "famous for being famous," and died under mysterious circumstances in her late 30s in a town called Hollywood. Like Norma Jeane Baker, she appears never to have found peace in life. I hope she's found it in death.
(piano intro)

Goodbye, Vicki Lee
though I never knew you at all.
You searched for grace, but found it not
on the walls and floors you crawled.

Found strange ways to get work
but went and proved you had a brain.
Hugh Hefner was not the sole old man
who let you latch onto his name.

And it seems to me that in your life
couldn't handle all the wind
never knowing what you'd cling to
when the rain set in.

And I would've liked to have known you.
I guess it's just as well.
You must be up in heaven now
'cause we saw you go through hell.

Marilyn was tough.
The famous role you tried to play.
You turned yourself into a superstar
but an awful price you'd pay.

Even when you died
whoa, the press remained so crude.
All the papers had to say
was, "Who's the baby's dad, which dude?"

And it seems to me that in your life
couldn't handle all the wind
never knowing what you'd cling to
when the rain set in.

And I would've liked to have known you.
I guess it's just as well.
You must be up in heaven now
'cause we saw you go through hell.

Goodbye, Vicki Lee
though I never knew you at all.
You had your times when fortunes rose
but too soon had final fall.

Goodbye, Vicki Lee
as we try to separate the truth from myth
to see you as more than "reality" star
more than Anna Nicole Smith.

And it seems to me that in your life
couldn't handle all the wind
never knowing what you'd cling to
when the rain set in.

And I would've liked to have known you.
I guess it's just as well.
You must be up in heaven now
'cause we saw you go through hell.

You must be up in heaven now
'cause we saw you go through hell.

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 2.1
Overall Rating: 2.1

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 16
 16
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   11
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Meriadoc - February 10, 2007 - Report this comment
A nice tribute Michael. I don't know what she had , but she had something. She seemed to be one of those persons who you wanted to hate, but ended up liking her in spite of yourself... maybe Geraldo said it best when he said she had 'grit' - I think that is something we all find ourselves admiring. I thought her death was very sad...
Michael Pacholek - February 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Even in this, something went wrong. Her birth name was Vicki Lynn Hogan, not Vicki Lee as I said.
steve - February 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice tribute to Anna Nicole.......R.I.P. Anna. Now you should get an Elton impersonator to sing it.

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