Love to hear you scream
As you plummet and you freefall
You're in my face, go choke yourself
I hope that you get mauled
You sure define the real jerk
Maybe get thrown off of a train
Buy Drano and drink your fill
Or watch 'Singing in the Rain'

Cause it seems to me you have no life
You're a real pain in my neck
I would tie you to the train tracks
But the train would wreck
And I sure would like to throw you
Off'a the tallest cliff
And hear you scream the whole way down
Can't wait till you go stiff

Got a lot of stuff
A shame to let it go to waste
Mercury, ammonia and arsenic
Would you like to have a taste?
Homi-suicide
Just the sound fills me with joy
And the lawyers'd have no case
All evidence conveniently destroyed

Cause it seems to me your goal in life
Be a real pain in the mass
I should drop you on the freeway
Off the overpass
But I'd really like to throw you
Off of a diving plane
And hear you scream the whole way down
Then feel some of my pain

Love to hear you scream
As you're attacked by fireants
Listen to kids talk Pikachu
Or watch Madonna dance

Love to hear you scream
When you wake up and you slowly come to know
That you're being cooked in some tribal ritual
This fake jet jacuzzi tub's a pro

Cause it seems to me you're causing strife
Just so I will be perturbed
But when I compare all the facts
It just seems absurd
And I sure would like to add you
To spam lists that I'm sent
But I don't think I'd go that far
You're still my bestest friend