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Song Parodies -> "Bennie, I Confess"

Original Song Title:

"Bennie and the Jets"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Bennie, I Confess"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

As requested. Most requests people make of me are to NOT express myself in this way, or in any other. Please note that this song is against the choice for the new Pope, and NOT against Catholicism in general. As an old Methodist song goes, "The church is not a building... the church is a people." And, as the great Bill Veeck said, "Baseball is like religion: Great game, lousy owners."
Hey, kids, Cardinals together.
The smokestack's saying something.
That's been known to change the weather.
We'll have a pontiff tonight.
So stick around.
You're gonna hear the sacred music
from the Rome compound.

Say, I don't know why you're the guy that they get.
I think they're spaced out
B-B-B-Bennie, I confess!

Oh, the crowd cheered, thought it wonderful
but Bennie, he's really mean.
Can't fill John Paul's boots.
And that's the truth.
He's got that Popemobiling limousine.
Oh, no!
B-B-B-Bennie, I confess!

Hey, kids, plug into the faithful.
Maybe they're blinded.
And Bennie, he ain't ageless.
We shall survive, let us take ourselves along
where we fight the men who are naughty priests.
Will Ben condemn them as wrong?

Oh, he's German and he's wunderbar!
That Bennie, he's really mean!
He's got inqusitors
for you and yours
I saw it in "The Nation" magazine!
Oh, no!
B-B-B-Bennie, I confess!

(instrumental break)

And now I know why you're the guy that they get.
Heretics phased out.
B-B-B-Bennie, I confess!

Oh, the crowd cheered, thought it wonderful.
His inquisition wiped me clean.
He's got the Swiss Guard brutes
in fancy suits.
I said some things I didn't really mean!
Oh, no!
B-B-B-Bennie, I confess!

Bennie! Bennie! Bennie!
Bennie, I confess!
Bennie! Bennie! Bennie!
Bennie, I confess!
Bennie! Bennie! Bennie!
Bennie, I confess!
(repeat 'til fade)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
this is the finest pope parody yet...5s plus
Ravyn Rant - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
All that and you read The Nation, too? You so rock.
John Barry - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Bene. 5s
Rick C - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one..5s
Michael Pacholek - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
And The American Prospect, Ravyn. And Mother Jones. Once in a while, I even pick up National Review to see how the other 48 percent lives.
Panda Rosa - April 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Bennie may be mean, but he does have a sense of humor too! Any man who loves beer, cats, and Mozart ain't all bad! You probably won't do more than a hundred years in the dung pits of purgatory.
CalifCatlicker - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Michael, this is funny . . . . Oh the woes of Catholicism! Cardinal Joseph R. please help us!
-------------------------------------------- - November 07, 2012 - Report this comment
yes

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