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Song Parodies -> "Hockey Fan"

Original Song Title:

"Rocket Man"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Hockey Fan"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

They're set to melt the ice - tonight
Even Gretzky's - talks got stuck
Kiss the season good-bi-iii-hye
They don't GIVE a puck

I'll miss the Cup so much
I miss the fights
I miss the octopi
On all those mi-iii-indless nights

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till both sides PULL their heads from their be-hinds
I'm not a man who likes when rich guys moan
Oh no no no
I'm a hockey fan

Hockey fan!
Burned because my '05 season's gone

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Until Oc- tober comes I'll lose my mind
I'm not a man who spends his nights at home
Oh no no no
I'm a hockey fan

Hockey fan!
Stuck with figure skating - all alone

Bars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
But home is dull as hell
Wish I hadn't shot - our - TV
But I did

And no, this lockout - I don't understand
So I get drunk five days a week
A hockey fa-a-aaa-han
Hockey fan

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touchdowns mean a thing or baseball's fine
I'm not a man who's got a roundball bone
Oh no no no
I'm a hockey fan

Hockey fan!
Stuck with Disney-on-Ice - all alone

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Until we're through with hearing tough guys whine
I'm not a man who cares when athletes groan
Oh no no no
I'm a hockey fan

Hockey fan!
Stick-check Gary Bettman's neutral zone!

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
And I think it's gonna be a long long time
And I think I'm gonna be a locked-out guy
And I think I'm gonna be a LOCKED-out guy
And I think they're makin' me a LOCKED-out guy
And I think they're makin' me a LOCKED-out guy

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
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 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
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 5   19
 19
 19
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

DKTOS? - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
For those who Don't Know The Original Song, it's temporarily available at spaff.com/dktos
John Barry - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
5s for this no-05-season song.
Johnny D - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
'Til any other AmiRighters climb
The talent-mountain whose sum-mit Spaff owns
Hee-hee ho-ho
He's THE MIGHTY SPAFF
MIGHTY SPAFF
Burnin' out his muse's pheromones
Scathe - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Good job, Spaff. Good ridance, hockey.
Spaff 3:16 - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
For Weird Al so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Spaff, that whosoever readeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting guffaws.
Steve K. - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Don't worry, it's almost steroid season, er, baseball season.
Claude Prez - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Ooh, what a hockey fan he was....excellent
2nz - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Hockey player, what's the matter?
You only want to play YOUR way.
Excellent Spaff. I'd quote half the song, but in the interest of keeping it brief, here's me absolute fave stanza:

"And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touchdowns mean a thing or baseball's fine
I'm not a man who's got a roundball bone
Oh no no no
I'm a hockey fan"
John Jenkins - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
It is hard to relate to rich guys moaning. Excellent parody. The touchdown line and the stick check line were my two faves.
Charlie Decker - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Now, we just have to listen to Shatner perform it. 5s.
Michael Pacholek - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Spaff: Five Tim Horton's donuts. Johnny: As Billy Crystal would say (see "City Slickers"), you've got a half-track mind, you know that? Scathe: So what sport do YOU like, figure skating? Golf? Wait, I said "sport." Claude: That was an absolutely horrible pun. You should be ashamed of yourself. But you're not! Charlie: Why not? Shatner is from the REAL Hockeytown, Montreal.
alvin rhodes - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
this one throbs with passion...excellent work...5s
Wapner - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Two minutes for leaving the bench to laugh in private, since this NHL crap is no laughing matter..Not your all-time best work, but great none-the-less. 555
Ashkicksass - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Ugh! I couldn't agree more about those whining babies, good hell. But my husband is really quite sad, because he LOVES hockey. Fan-frickity-tastic job here!
Stuart McArthur - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
y'know Spaff - ya talk the talk - but aint it time ya walked the walk ?

ya complain about Disney on Ice, but what about Shakespeare on Ice - or Esther On Ice?

you're the man to do it - we're all behind you - until then, keep the parodies up - 555
Michael Pacholek - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Husband? Ash, I was under the impression that you were, like, you know, 16 or something! And after I poured my guts out in that tribute parody... Well, I guess it's back to Colorado, or Wyoming, or Nebraska, or wherever what's-her-name the elf lives...
Know 1 can hear you dream - March 05, 2005 - Report this comment
You've got my sympathy, but I got the best ever Swedish playoffs going as we speak... :-)
Jack Wilson - March 06, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL!!!! THis is awesome, lovet he OS love this parody! 555!
Spaff.com - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
You've lost that hockey season
Whoa-oh that hockey season
You've lost that HOCKey season
Now it's gone gone gone

Belated thanks, Johnglebarry & Johnny DD (heh heh) & Scathe & The Gospel Apparently According to Me & Steve K & C4P & Looney 2nz & Johnkins & Sgt Decker & scholar rhodes & Wapner (yeah, it's no "Anal Vice") & Sister Kicksass & Stuartiste (how 'bout Riunite on Ice?) & Peterchyd & Local Celebrity!

Michaelopedia: Could you be confusing "Ash" with "Ashkicksass"? And did you really write a flirt parody to someone you thought was 16? What's next - baby dangling? Heh heh.
Spoof-Man - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Oooh!! "the loven felling" parody is just as good as the Elton Jhon one!
Spaff.com - January 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanx, Spoof-Man. Next time they cancel the NHL season, I'm all over it.
Spoof-Man - August 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Your welcome Spaff, I think the Righteous Brothers/hocky fans would love it

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