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Song Parodies -> "Biceps Have Been Thinned"

Original Song Title:

"Candle In the Wind"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Biceps Have Been Thinned"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Surprise: The biggest Yankee fan at Amiright lays the biggest smack down on Jason Juice-ambi. Having already written ''My Name Is'' (Giambi),'' I now ask: Will the real Giambi please stand up? Then again, CAN the real Giambi please stand up? I think we''ve got a problem here.
Goodbye, Jason G.
Seems we never knew you at all.
You had the stuff inside yourself
but it seems your bluff is called.

Called out all your bloodwork
saw what caused the thing inside your brain.
The weight machines and treadmill
aren''t what made your form and name.

And it seems to me you quit that stuff
and your biceps have been thinned
never knowing who to sing to
when the law closed in.
And I would''ve liked to have cheered you
but the truth you hid.
Your candle burned out long before
your reputation did.

Phoniness was tough
the toughest game you ever played.
Chemicals created a superstar
and shame is the price you paid.

All this time you lied
and the press is hounding you.
All the papers have to say
is that Steinbrenner is feeling screwed.

And it seems to me you quit that stuff
and your biceps have been thinned
never knowing who to sing to
when the law closed in.
And I would''ve liked to have cheered you
but the truth you hid.
Your candle burned out long before
your reputation did.

Goodbye, Jason G.
Seems we never knew you at all.
You had the stuff inside yourself
but it seems your bluff is called.

Now then, Barry B
with your seven hundred three home runs.
We see you as no more than chemical.
Are you sticking to your guns?

And it seems to me you quit that stuff
and your biceps will be thinned
never knowing who to sing to
when the truth comes in.
And I would''ve liked to have cheered you
but the truth you hid.
Your candle burned out long before
your reputation did.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 3
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 2
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   2
 2
 2
 
 5   10
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - December 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job...a bit of a sad commentary on the state of baseball, but brought on himself.
John Barry - December 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Drugs in sports?! What's next, corruption in politics? 15 CCs.
alvin rhodes - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
this is really good...much better than the votes you got so far...5s
Johnny D - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
As the Major League biceps go------oh enough of that old in-joke, here are your 5's.

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