Midnight
Made some water
Drank more than I ought'r
Dreaming of a waterfall
Did not answer nature's call

Now I can't get it out of my bed
There's a stain that's as wide as the spread
Now my wife makes me sleep in the shed
Cause I can't get it out the bed

I hate
My urethra
Tell it, "Watch beneath ya"
But when I get up at dawn
There's puddle I'm upon

Now I can't get it out of my bed
I'm controlled by that bald little head
Now my wife looks at me with real dread
Cause I can't get it out the bed, no, no

Though it
Ain't too pretty
I ain't gonna wear no diaper or depends that's for little babies not for me, no
So I use a big "C" clamp
Hurts a lot, but no more damp

Now I can save it all for the bowl
And Niagra spews forth from the hole
But my wife don't rake me o'er the coals
Cause I wake up and run to the bowl -yes, yes

Now I just save it all for the bowl
And Niagra spews forth from the hole
But my wife don't rake me o'er the coals
Cause I wake up and run to the bowl -ow, ow ow....