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Song Parodies -> "A Middle East Country, A Middle Earth Mountain Troll"

Original Song Title:

"A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock 'n' Roll"

Original Performer:

Donny and Marie Osmond

Parody Song Title:

"A Middle East Country, A Middle Earth Mountain Troll"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

After seeing performances by the great Luke Ski and Carrie Dahlby, I decided I had to write this duet for them. Not only did they agree to sing it, but Luke constructed a whole '70s variety show around it. Chris Mezzolesta (Power Salad) and Filkmaster Tom Smith contributed cameos, and studio genius Bob Emmet (Project Sisyphus) did the music, production, and, well, all the real work. It's today's featured song on the Funny Music Project (TheFuMP.com). Get yer download links to the song and/or entire sketch at Spaff.com.
I'm a Middle East country
I'M A MIDDLE EARTH MOUNTAIN TROLL
I've got sunshine, deserts, and burqas
I'M HORRIFIC BUT MY WITS ARE KIND OF DULL
My name is Something-stan
I SWALLOW HOBBITS WHOLE
I'm a Middle East country
I'M A MIDDLE EARTH MOUNTAIN TROLL

I'm a little explosive
I PUT DWARVES IN MY QUAKER OATS
I'm a little ultra-religious
I'M A LITTLE BIT GRUFF WITH BILLY GOATS
I'm disconcertingly real
I MIGHT BE FICTION-OLE
I'm a Middle East country
I'M A MIDDLE EARTH MOUNTAIN TROLL

I offer camels, sand, and Muslims
And crude oil in rich supply
IF I STAY OUT TILL THE SUN COMES UP
THEN I TURN TO STONE AND DIE

I'm moving slowly
To secular control
I BASH THOSE FREAKING WOOD ELVES WITH A BAT LIKE WHACK-A-MOLE
LIKE ME, YOU'RE POOR AS DIRT
Or rolling in the dough
I'm a Middle East country
I'M A MIDDLE EARTH MOUNTAIN TROLL

I may have mostly flat topography
But my Crescent is Fer-tile
I GOT A JOB AT HOT DWARF ON A STICK
JUST TO DRESS IN STYLE

My people love me
By reflex or by force
I BARBECUED MY IN-LAWS SO MY WIFE FILED FOR DIVORCE
I'm arid and I'm extra dry
NOT ME! I'VE GOT B.O.!
I'm a Middle East country
I'M A M-

[Booming wizard voice:]
"Dawn take you all! And be stone to you!"

Who was that?
MY EX.
Oh.

I'm a Middle East country!
AND I'M A MIDDLE EARTH MOUNTAIN TROLL!

(c) 2008+ I'm a Little Bit Mormon
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3
Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
  2
  2
  
 2   0
  0
  0
  
 3   0
  1
  1
  
 4   1
  0
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 5   12
  12
  12
  

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - June 03, 2008 - Report this comment
hilarious...my fave of the day
McKludge - June 03, 2008 - Report this comment
What kind of mind altering consumables do you use to come up with stuff like this? Are they legal?

Mmmm, dwarf on a stick... only 555 calories.
Invisible Boy - June 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Stellar effort here Mr. Spaff. Thanks for the link to Spaff.com. I've spent the better part of today reading your parodies and checking-out ThefuMP.com. I never realized that whole world existed.
I'm working on something and I need to ask you...Do you hold the copyright on the word "underpants" ?
Matthias - June 03, 2008 - Report this comment
One of the most random parodies by you Spaff, right on par with "Drank A Toast To Underpants". It's good to see you around, I'm off to check out the recording and the video now.
Spaff.com - June 03, 2008 - Report this comment
alvin: Ahh, the Favorite of Alvin Rhodes Today award. Always an honor, man.

McKludge: Lucky Charms. And yes, in most states.

Invisible Boy: I've seen some of your stuff too and it's grrreat. I'm glad you explored that other world today; there's some really wonderful comedy music out there, even some *not* by me. Heh heh. As for "underpants," you gotta agree that it's one of those words that is always amusing. Like "snarf." And "wiener."

Matthias: Good to see you too. And your underpants. I sure wish there were a video of this. (Hint hint.)
MrMacphisto - June 03, 2008 - Report this comment
....and Spaff steals the show again! 5-5-5
Phil Alexander - June 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Loved the Gandalf cameo... though I can see that once the title sub idea came up, this was one of those must-writes :-) Fantastic stuff, as usual.
Rick C - June 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Loved "I put dwarves on my Quaker oats." among a few others. Your usual comic genius, my friend. I must say I was disappointed by the duet though. I find Luke Ski long on wind and short on funny. I turned it off after your song.
Rick C - June 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Yes, there's nothing like the "Favorite of Alvin Rhodes Today" award. A good F.A.R.T. is truly an accomplishment. PS The security code is "BEM" (bowels expelling methane?)
Jack Wilson - June 04, 2008 - Report this comment
That was HILARIOUS AND random all at once! 5s
Spaff.com - June 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Macphisto: I promise to give it back.

Philbo: Yeah, once I got this particular itch, I had to keep scratching it. I know you understand that particular compulsion.

Rick: Luke's sketch is admittedly loaded with FuMP in-jokes, so we decided we'd better offer the song by itself too. Thanks for your comments, man.

Jackie: Muchas gracias, amigo.
Agrimorfee - June 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Cool beanz, Spaff. It's awesome that you and Luke Ski are collaborating...I've thought of the both of you as top artists in what you do...this is like Stevie Wonder dueting with Paul McArtney (but not really...) 555
Spoof-Man - June 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Awsome!! I loved how Carrie Dahlby's voice sound alot like Marie Osmond
stuart mcarthur - June 04, 2008 - Report this comment
"I BASH THOSE FREAKING WOOD ELVES WITH A BAT LIKE WHACK-A-MOLE" is one of those perfect lines, Spaff...great title sub, even greater idea in the first place, and tailor-made for performance - brilliant as usual Spaff - 555
Spaff.com - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Aggro: More like William Shatner and Jim Nabors. Thanks, man.

Spoof-Man: Thanks. They also wear similar sequined pantsuits.

s2art: Always lovely to hear from ya, mate. Muchas gracias.
Bill - March 08, 2009 - Report this comment
I didn't get the song.
Claude Prez - March 08, 2009 - Report this comment
This is awesome! Thanks to "Bill" for calling attention to it!
Spaff.com - March 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Bill: What a surprise.
Claude: Thanks. I'm glad you got suckered in.

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