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Song Parodies -> "The Day My Router Died"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"The Day My Router Died"

Parody Written by:

Rex Ungericht

The Lyrics

A tragedy too horrible to contemplate.
A few short days ago
I was in my office
When I heard a crackle, pop and snap

And I knew it was something bad
'Cause network access on my pad
Just disappeared, I couldn't get it back

The situation made me shiver
I had some email to deliver
'Til this problem's mended
I've got no way to send it

I felt a little horrified
When I noticed that the hub was fried
I briefly thought of suicide
The day my router died

Oh why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
So I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy
Kissin' my old system goodbye

Did you ever try to fix
Some components that turned into bricks
When a power spike occurs
And do you get nervous and withdrawn
With internet connection gone
Or do you shout a couple high tech slurs

Now I can't check on my website's hits
'Cause my broadband box is blown to bits
My life is incomplete
If I can't send out a tweet

And even though I have Intel inside
Well, it doesn't help me when the board is fried
That's why I facepalmed and I cried
The day my router died

I started yelpin'

Why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy
Kissin' my old system goodbye

Now, for 3 years it was working fine
As data flowed through that CAT 5 line
But then there came the tragedy
When a lightning bolt made a mighty clap
And my surge protector said "oh crap"
As the jolt destroyed its M.O.V.

Oh and while the surge protector fried
My scanner flipped its lid and died
The damage was complete
Hope I kept the receipt

And as scorching left a blackened mark
The L.E.D.s all went to dark
And so I lost my link to Fark
The day my router died

I was moanin'

Why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy
Kissin' my old system goodbye

Ooey phooey, what a load of hooey
This situation's really screwy
One strike and my computer's toast
Must replace the parts I lost
No matter what it's gonna cost
So now you know just why I'm getting sauced

And while I binged on Coke and Crown
The NAS just went and powered down
But right before it did
Sparks came out the lid

So, I stood there and I watched it glow
And realized it was apropos
To just unplug and stop this show
And maybe go and hide

I started yellin'

Why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy
Kissin' my old system goodbye

Well then I opened the PC case
The motherboard was still in place
But parts of it were kinda bent
Aw c'mon! This has really got me ticked
The hard drive has now begun to click
And there's a stong electric burning scent

And as I watched, the keyboard keys
Popped from their sockets in twos and threes
No demon born in hell
Could wreck my life so well

And with the power cord still glowing bright
I watched as every bit and byte
Dissapated at the speed of light
The day my router died

I was cryin'

Why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy
Kissin' my old system goodbye

I heard a whine from the CPU
And I wished that I could click Undo
And make it like it was before

I went down to the PC mart
Where I loaded up a shopping cart
And the purchase prob'ly crashed my credit score

But in the end it worked out great
My memory's triple data rate
And you should see the streaming
The data flow is screaming

But insurance said my claim was flawed
I don't get paid for acts of god
And so I bought a lightning rod
The day my router died

And I was groanin'

Why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
So I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy
Kissin' my old system goodbye

I was wailin'

Why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   0
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 5   8
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 8
 

User Comments

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Patrick - August 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Reminds me of the old TV show "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea". Every time something went wrong, the crew would do the "Seaview Shuffle", rocking from one side of the deck to the other while all the computers shot out aluminum powder sparks just like a fireworks fountain. Makes me leery of buying a computer.
Callmelennie - August 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Fantastic! Anyone who does this song well is an ace of parody
John Barry - August 06, 2012 - Report this comment
A tower de force!
Peregrin - August 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Everyone can relate to this, Rex! Great lines in there, my fave was "Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"" ")
TJC - August 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Byte-on! Great stuff, man!
Meriadoc - August 07, 2012 - Report this comment
Fantastic job! Favorite lines:

"And even though I have Intel inside"

"And my surge protector said "oh crap" "

"Hope I kept the receipt"

"So now you know just why I'm getting sauced"
lifeliver - August 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Great job. The hardest thing about attempting this song is keeping the quality up and the running joke alive all the way through and that's exactly what you did. There are so many great lines in here it's hard to single any out.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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