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Song Parodies -> "American Revolution"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"American Revolution"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Too bad I thought of this on a July 4, instead of in time for it.
A long, long time ago
I can still remember:
Being British used to make me smile.

And I was too young for a chance:
My dad kicked Frenchmen in the pants.
These colonies were happy for a while.

But House of Commons made us shiver
with every new tax they'd deliver.
Bad news through the nation
without representation.

I can't remember if I cried
when I heard five men in Boston died.
But something touched me deep inside
hearing... of Re... vere's ride.

So I, I am American guy.
I was British, now I'm skittish, and my powder is dry.
And good old boys, they don't drink tea, it's rye
singing, We shall be free or we'll die.
We shall be free or we'll... die.

Did Tom write a summary?
Did you hear speech of Patrick Henry?
If Virginians told you so?
And do you believe those Boston boys
threw tea-chests o'erboard like they were toys
and... was there one lantern or two, do you know?

Well, who knows whose shot was first unfurled
but it was heard around the world!
We fought at Lexington
and Concord, Brits got done!

I was a lonely lad with lots of bills
but Brit abuses gave me chills.
Fought at Bunker and Breed's hills
for free... dom we... all cried!

We were singing:
I, I am American guy.
I was British, now I'm skittish, now my powder is dry.
And good old boys, they don't drink tea, it's rye
singing, We shall be free or we'll die.
We shall be free or we'll die.

Now, for so long, we were on our own
the motherland left us alone.
But that's not how it now will be.

Well, that jester Lord North, he got mean
thinking he was France's Lou Fourteen
and our voice he ignored across the sea.

Oh, and while the King was going mad
didn't know the good thing that he had
we all got up in arms
George the Third unleashed his harms.

But on July 4th the bells all pealed.
For Jefferson's words we all squealed.
Our Declaration was revealed.
For free... dom we... all cried!

We were singing,
I, I am American guy.
I was British, now I'm skittish, and my powder is dry.
And good old boys, they don't drink tea, it's rye
singing, We shall be free or we'll die.
We shall be free or we'll die.

Felt our shelter in a summer swelter
collapse in New York from Admiral Howe's belter.
Scrambled through New Jersey fast.
Got through River Delaware
but made it back while unaware
were the Hessians sleeping off Christmas repast.

Now, we hung on, but ran out of supplies.
From disease and hunger, soldier dies.
Freezing at Valley Forge.
So now, what next, General George?

But old Washington, he thought it out.
Brought von Steuben, crafty Kraut.
At Monmouth Courthouse, led a rout.
For free... dom we... all cried!

We were singing,
I, I am American guy.
See the British, now they're skittish, 'cause our powder is dry.
And good old boys, they don't drink tea, it's rye
singing, We shall be free or we'll die!
We shall be free or we'll die!

Oh, and there we were, all in one place:
With our French allies, about-face!
We won't fight with Le Boys again.
So, come on, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick!
Blow out Cornwallis' candlestick!
'Cause fire from a cannon is our friend!

Oh, and as I watched through Yorktown's smoke
I saw a white flag, it's no joke.
No angel born in Blighty
could take that symbol lightly!

And as your fireworks soar into the night
on your July 4 big night
remember those who fought the fight
so free... dom's not... denied!

Join us, singing,
I, I am American guy.
Revolution, the solution, stars and stripes flying high.
'Cause freedom is something money can't buy.
So it might be right for you to ask why.
Might be right for you to ask why.

I met a man in Army blue
and asked, "We've won, now what to do?"
But he did not know what to say.

Beyond my life on God's green Earth
our freedom needed second birth.
So the man there, Mr. Lincoln, had to say.

And in the streets of Europe, screams.
They can't enjoy our freedoms' dreams.
But FDR had spoken.
The dictators were broken.

And the free men you admire most
it's been a long time, but hear our ghost:
The task, it now is yours to host.
Or in... vain we'll have... cried.

Your turn for singing:
I, I am American guy.
Revolution, institution, to maintain, we will try.
Those good old boys, they held their principles high.
So make sure our freedom will forever fly.
Make sure our freedom will forever fly.

Your turn for singing:
I, I am American guy.
Gentlemen and ladies, all be ready, your turn to try.
Those good old boys, they held their principles high.
Make sure our freedom will forever fly!

And remember: Revolution, by it's very nature, is a radical act. Believing that all men (or, rather, all people) are created equal is, by definition, liberal. The conservatives of 1776 wanted to stay loyal to the mother country. The conservatives wanted George Washington and the rest to be hanged as traitors. But they'd have one thing in common with today's liberals: They'd laugh at the idiots who now call themselves "Tea Party Patriots."

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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 4   1
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User Comments

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Peregrin - July 05, 2012 - Report this comment
I love a historical parody Pach. Lots of good lines but I particularly chuckled at "But old Washington, he thought it out - Brought von Steuben, crafty Kraut". Good job.
Brock O'Brahma - July 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Triple nickels (that's 3 Thomas Jeffersons!) for an epic parody. A 4th one for doing it so quickly. That said, I can't let the bottom contents go uncontested. The founding fathers would be horrified at the willful dismantling of the Bill of Rights (a document that clearly LIMITS the power of government). The Patriot act killed the 4th amendment, and the recent NDAA (National Defense Authorization Act) killed the 5th. The 1st, 6th and 10th are on life support. Thank God a federal judge struck down provision 1021 of the NDAA. If we just focus on tea parties and Wall St. occupiers, we take our eye off the ball. As Benjamin Franklin said, "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
Patrick - July 05, 2012 - Report this comment
A well-crafted history lesson, working in King George's mental problems, the French and Indian Wars, a host of other historical figures. "Fire from a cannon is our friend" another great line. I could see images from Mel Gibson's movie as I read that one. Nice working in of Lincoln and FDR. Today we live in times that try men's wallets, perhaps some day their souls will be engaged, too. Go back and read the Unanimous Declaration and see how many of those grievances are still with us.
Meriadoc - July 07, 2012 - Report this comment
Michael this is fabulous. I loved the British/skittish combo.
glen s - July 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Great work here Mike. Excellent in its depth. Especially since it sounds like you wrote it in a day. Always took me longer than that with this os

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