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Song Parodies -> "Un-American Pie"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Un-American Pie"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

This may be the most ridiculous thing that I've ever written
You're wrong, wrong, all of you
You should be dismembered
Or at least sent to Guantanamo
And I know if you had your way
You'd steal my rights since I'm not gay
And give the lazy homeless all my dough
The Janissaries shared your mission
Since you're so into fighting Christians
Everyone should know that
By you I mean Democrats
You cannot tell a truth, just lies
You won't get a job, you're always high
You think there's no God in the sky
That's why you need to die, so

Eat, sweet, un-American pie
I'll rejoice when apple poison
Kills you Communist spies
Who love the French
And won't speak of Freedom Fries
You're all miscreants with terrorist ties
Miscreants with terrorist ties

Would you like to let robbers
Just walk up and take a woman's purse?
I surmise the answer's yes
And do you all meet to praise Saddam?
Do you stick spears in pregnant moms?
You do both gladly and make such a mess
Well I know that you hate our country
Cause I heard it from Sean Hannity
Only traitors would choose
A VP that can't skin a moose
You are all dopey evil donkeycrats
Blocking wealth creation since you're jealous brats
I like my income taxes flat
You don't so you should die
You really need to

Eat, sweet, un-American pie
I'll rejoice when apple poison
Kills you Communist spies
Who love the French
And won't speak of Freedom Fries
You're all miscreants with terrorist ties
Miscreants with terrorist ties

We're all friends here if you're far away
You fought for classrooms where kids don't pray
Just because they are public schools
You won't rest until all kids take notes
For a test on how to worship goats
You'll destroy us all you bunch of fools
If they wander from the righteous path
They'll kill all that incur their wrath
Their morals will be shot
They'll probably smoke pot
Don't tell me that will not happen
I don't need your lib-er-al spin
If McCain/Palin doesn't win
We all are gonna die
So you need to

Eat, sweet, un-American pie
I'll rejoice when apple poison
Kills you Communist spies
Who love the French
And won't speak of Freedom Fries
You're all miscreants with terrorist ties
Miscreants with terrorist ties

Love my hummer, also Joe the Plumber
And you do not because you're all dumber
Than FDR that socialist
You want to bring our troops back
And let the Taliban rule Iraq
And then the whole region with an iron fist
Well, you tax and spend to get your kicks
And mock the states with hues like bricks
You think it is more fun
Than when you hold and shoot a gun
If you're crazy it explains that fact
Crimes come from minds that ain't intact
The Bush Doctrine shows how to act
You all have got to die
Therefore you need to

Eat, sweet, un-American pie
I'll rejoice when apple poison
Kills you Communist spies
Who love the French
And won't speak of Freedom Fries
You're all miscreants with terrorist ties
Miscreants with terrorist ties

You all really are freakin' hippies
Your veneration of the trees
Is blasphemous you should be shot
You support Joe the gaffe-prone, Joe the old
Joe blows he can't fix toilet bowls
And Sarah's awesome she's so tough and hot
I know the stock market's a mess
Because of taxing by Congress
Which hates America
Cause you control it, duh!
I know when jobs are lost they tend to go
To illegals from Mexico
And like Picard said you made it so
And so you have to die
So you need to

Eat, sweet, un-American pie
I'll rejoice when apple poison
Kills you Communist spies
Who love the French
And won't speak of Freedom Fries
You're all miscreants with terrorist ties
Miscreants with terrorist ties

I saw a girl who was attacked
By a supporter of Ba-rack
And forced to lie and say she schemed
The troop surge keeps me safe at night
Peace without a war just don't seem right
If Hussein wins then A-rabs will haunt my dreams
If Righties cheat it's for the cause
Of preventing your immoral laws
It's fine to steal elections
For the country's protection
You believe in that abortion case
Due to the crowded pop-u-lace
My country would have tons of space
If all of you would die
That's why I'm singing

Eat, sweet, un-American pie
I'll rejoice when apple poison
Kills you Communist spies
Who love the French
And won't speak of Freedom Fries
You're all miscreants with terrorist ties
Miscreants with terrorist ties

Eat, sweet, un-American pie
I'll rejoice when apple poison
Kills you Communist spies
Who love the French
And won't speak of Freedom Fries
You're all miscreants with terrorist ties
Miscreants with terrorist ties

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 1
 1
 
 4   4
 0
 1
 
 5   0
 5
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - November 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Tough to match the pacing, but there's a lot of truth in the lyrics. Wish I could do this song some day.
Ethan Mawyer - November 03, 2008 - Report this comment
There might be enough true facts (not truthiness, actual facts) here to count on one hand. Maybe.
Melanie Lee - November 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Hilarious at first, then dragged a bit, then picked up here and there. I think some of the pacing was off here and there, but this is a very tough song. I couldn't give 4 1/2's, so I deciced to split the difference. 4-5-5. Nice job!
Ethan Mawyer - November 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Melanie, that's pretty much how I felt about this too. I did struggle a bit in the later stages, realizing at that point it's really hard to keep up a POV like this throughout a song of this length. I thought I got the pacing down for the most part, but there were some points where I had to play with stresses a little bit although it's certainly not ones worthy. Although the votes are disappointing, I'm a bit more disappointed that I didn't get much discussion out of this.
Agrimorfee - November 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Maybe folks are just all electioned-out, you know? (also, some folks are American Pied-out, too ;)). But, anyway, Melanie is OTM. Playing the devil can be fun, but tiring. 455 from me, too.
Phil Alexander - November 04, 2008 - Report this comment
What Melanie said - there are some absolute gems in this, but it is very hard to do a parody to this song that stays at a high level all the way through. Super job, Ethan.
Stan Hall - November 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Well done, and all the more amusing because the narrator's outrageous assertions align closely enough with those publicly voiced by some among the GOP "core" to keep the reader--this one, anyway, previously (but not henceforth) unfamiliar with your work--not _quite_ certain they shouldn't be taken at face value.

None of the occasional pacing wrinkles vis-à-vis the OS can't be smoothed by a gentle torquing of a word's normal pronunciation, and one can readily conjure examples aplenty of OS lyrics that themselves rely upon precisely such to maintain a rhythm. Having posted a couple treatments of this OS myself, I have to agree with Patrick, Melanie, and Phil that it's no picnic to pace-match.

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