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Song Parodies -> "Forget Me Not Pie"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"Forget Me Not Pie"

Parody Written by:

TJC

The Lyrics

So many lyrics, so little mind....
~~

A long, long time ago…
I could still remember
Words to music that once made me smile.
Now lyrics by such groups as Wings
I can’t recall—Paul’zheimers brings
a pox upon my mind’s melodic files.

Still— ‘Secret Asian Man’ delivers
Say, was that Joan… or Johnny Rivers?
Recall’s misbegotten
Whole stanzas I’ve forgotten

I think it was Avril McLean
who sang “Pie o’ Mine’s a Boi Toi Scene”
Or was that J’Lo cov’ring Queen?
Oy Vey! The music’s fried!

So…
Why cry? This repise’ll still fly—
Singin’ “Chevys float near levees
‘cause Katrina came by”
Then – “Its raining Gwen”, by K.D. Lang (no surprise…)
And “I’m all out of gloves” —by Air Supply
(M.J. can relate in Dubai)

Did you ‘synch’ to love songs well?
And would you ‘Ashley’ on SNL?
(Lorne refuses all her calls)
Do you believe Sting has a soul?
Can Urban really stand Nichole?
And yes Blunt taught me how to gag reeeal slow

Well, I know you think rap’s awfully nice
‘Cause I saw you lick Vanilla Ice
When most groups sang the blues
Man, the Mel-tones crooned about Jews

I was a tone-deaf teenage singin’ schmuck
With an i-Victrola in my pickup truck
Sang Barry White like Donald Duck
And Ray, I Gaye-ified

And I’m still singin’
Aye, Bligh! Mut’ny’d memory’s sly
Recall’s stinkin,’ has me thinkin’
Kwanzaa’s Fourth of July
Karaoke folk were thinkin’ “Man that dude’s high!”
Gotta laugh, ‘cause I hate whisky and rye
Even more than ‘Oxy-Clean’ guy…

Well ‘The Fifties’ may ‘un-twist’ my brain
Could El-vish oldies re-coup re-frains
Or Smokey Boone jog memories?
When Fats Sinatra belted R & B
In some boots he borrowed—from Nancy(!?)
I thought, “Dude—you’re the next Bing Croce!”

Oh, and while The King gyrated so
Miss Dinah Domino would blow
When Chubby Holly crooned
Those ‘sweater girls’ bazoomed!
And while Dino led his Pips on stage
And ‘Love Me Blender’ was the rage
Those closet locks were still engaged
‘Twas *way* before gay pride

I’m still singing…
Why cry ‘cause yer verse goes awry?
Who’ll care if ‘Shot The Sherriff’
Implicates a Rabbi?
Or if Song Sung Blue’s a jab at abstainin’ guys
Mem’ry’s mangled, man, in ways that defy—
Better give ‘The Sixties’ a try…

Gnarly Harleys, Easy Ridin’ Marleys
Now Cher’s pre-Sonny and pre-op (bar-ly)
Nudy Blues worked out their Kiiinks!
Then Dylan broke some potent ‘Wind’
While Beach Boy’s got their Woodies rimmed
And KFJ caught more than forty winks

Well then Purple Haze was blowin’ smoke
Sayin’ Yoko Ono’s a tranny bloke
When Byrds flocked in tight pants
Al Hitchcock was entranced!
Back then ‘acid heads’ said “trippin’s swell”
Now gangsta’ rap’s how kids rebel
Since LSD’s gone DSL
Today, we’re all i-highed

I can’t stop singing…
Fly, Sly! Family Stoners got high
Wilson Pickett bought ten tickets
On Keith’s can-i-Bus ride
While Osmond twins in-utero harmonized
a’ singin’, “Romney’s our next President Guy”
“Billary, just curl up and die.”

Oh, ‘The Seventies’, I’m skippin’ Chuck
‘Cause what’s the point with ‘Disco Duck’?
And ‘Eighties’ weren’t that kind to me
So come on—Beck be nimble, Wham be slick
Manheim shat on ol’ Handel’s shtick
I’m mired!—could ‘Nineties’ tunes spark meee?

So, and as I watched Cobain on stage
Teen Spirit smelled like Foley’s page
No Mambo Numbered Five
Could slow my prose nose-dive
And as our Boyz II Men transmogrified
The Macarena spread world-wide
I saw Satan shimmy-bop in stride
Sashayin’ Jekyll’d Hyde!

He was singing…
“My, my, lyric-stammerin’ guy.”
“As with Woody and young Soon Yi
memory’s turned a blind eye.”
“You’ve one last shot—‘Two Thousands’—give it a try—
Just sing *three* songs right—I’ll rehab your mind…
Flub it—it’s Beelze-club time!”

Found Charlie Daniels—steeped in booze
And I asked him ‘bout the Devil’s ruse
In Georgia when he won that day
He spat and said, “I’ve done enough”
“Go and ask Def, Don, Dre, Dolls or Duff”
But their posies all turned me clean away


So, rec-o-llectables I sought
From Abba’s fluff through old ZZ Top
When suddenly it hit me—
I’m *so* n’synch with Britney!
And her three songs I admire most—
‘What Baby?’, ‘Oops!’ and then ‘Baby Ghost’
I aced in canticled riposte
That day—the Devil cried

He kept his bargain…

Spry, I - am rememberin’ ‘Pie’!
Uzi chatt’rin’ Tupac’s patt’rin’
That’s me rappin’ it ‘fly’
And them ‘Elements’ of Leherer’s—deftly supplied!
Then through ‘Wreck o’ Edmund Fitzy’ I’ll glide
Quicker than that light-footed guy

Bravo, Britney!

[Tutti cognoscenti:]
Bye-bye, Miss American Shy
Chan’lin’ Whitney, limo’d Britney
Caught the Paparraz-eye
Her bald-faced truth’s revealed in blinks-of-a-thigh—
Schwingin’ “Hip-hop hip hooray for Spear’s Pie!”

~~~ CIRCA, AD & CÛM FINÉ ~~~

(Et al., heh, heh!)


~

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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John Lovit - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I don't think this has ever been done any better. Chock full of great lines, puns, and plays on words, and an eye-popping array of name-twisted artists and groups from Elvis, Buddy Holly, Sinatra, and myriad others, this was 'Historical Parody' at its finest. Or, rather more fitting...hysterical parody. Even the Mighty Spaff would be proud to have written this, and maybe the only other writer capable of doing it this kind of justice.
Dylan Baranski - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Are you having trouble remembering the lyrics to your favorite songs? Do even the catchiest pop tunes of all time elude you? Then take a spin with Dschinghis Khan! They'll stimulate your brain cells into remembering all the classics you used to know, & even ones you don't know!
Dylan Baranski - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh, and by the way, "Secret Asian Man" was by Da Vinci's Notebook.
alvin - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
inspired lunacy
Agrimorfee - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow! I mean WOW! A whole new spin on the AP...not only should one cite Spaff here, but John A. Barry...and James Joyce...cleverness like this scares me. absolutely 555.
Jack Wilson - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!! 555 I dito everyone else
John Barry - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
A masterpiece! I'm incredibly jealous, and I'd be insanely jealous if I learned that this took any less than 48 hours to write.
AFW - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Very creative, indeed! Out of sight observations..
MrMacphisto - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
My favorite of the day for sheer randomness... lol
stuart mcarthur - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
to comment, I'd have to use words, and I'm almost embarrassed to do that in front of you TJC, with this example of wordmastery - so much effort went into this it's as tight as Elvis's white jumpsuit - but no mention of Don Maclean (just rechecked the seventies - nope - lol) - obviously TMGLTM but I have to single out "LSD's gone DSL" and Bing Croce - inspired - 555
TJC - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks so much all for votes and comments! John and Agrimorfee, you're embarrassin' me, guys! I am undeserving but very appreciative. Dylan, I didn't know 'Secret Asian Man' was an already spoofed song...but it seems a natural... thanks for the 411. Alvin, Jack, AFW and Macphisto... thanks mucho guys. Stu and JAB: Thanks so much-- yes, this was the most work I've ever put in a parody, probably twice as much as my previous 'reach' sending up Mel with Chattanooga Choo Choo...and yeah,'48 hours' might be about right... unfortunately I didn't have Nolte and Murphy to help out! Thanks again!
Red Ant - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm going to be reading this over and over the next week or so to get all of the puns and extraordinary wordplay. TMGLTM goes without saying, but this parody is not only a potential SOTM winner, it might be a SOTY winner... if only you entered. 555++++ Record this or die. =)
Ann Hammond - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I'll need to read this over too.
Tommy Turtle - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I too. OGLAA (One Good Line After Another). "Mel-tones/Deltones" Gibson good laughs for sure. Best aspect was parallelling TOS in giving a history of rock, while also spoofing our OldTimer's disease and failed memories. What Red Ant said. 555++++
Below Average Dave - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
"I saw Satan shimmy-bop in stride" One of many classics in this parody, of an over-parodied classic--but be that as it may, how could anyone not find this one a great---Terrific job.
Dylan Baranski - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Yes, TJC, Secret Asian Man is a spoof of Secret Agent Man by Johnny Rivers. You probably mixed up the titles.
Kristof Robertson - August 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Shame on you, TJC...you made my head hurt! This is phenomenal; wildly creative, precisely crafted, and funny as all get out. SOTM contender, or my names not Elvis Prestello...555+++
TJC - August 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Red Ant... thanks so much... as for the recording, well, I of the pewter larynx (several grades, er umorders of magnitude, below golden) would definitely have to strike a deal with Lobert Rund or some such personage so as to avoid inflicting too much aural damage on you all. BAD... thanks mucho, much appreciated. Kristof... Very, very nice of you to say...and "Elvis Prestello" may well be the best spoonerismish/mish-mash artist name of them all! (wish I'd thought of that!)
Spaff.com - August 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Holy freaking wow. Way TMGLTM. You've just written one of the best parodies on the site, and that's no small feat with 50K others to choose from. Bravo.
Meriadoc - August 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Fabulous! Love the Osmonds/Romney line!
TJC - August 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Spaff... means a whole lot coming from you, the author of amiright's supreme meisterpeace 'Shakespearian Pie' a magnum 'dope' opus that in my humble opinion, towers above all others and likely will for evermore (someone get that frickin' Raven outta here!)... that monster was 'practically perfect in every way', a 1000 pound, er, word... parody Haiku Gorilla... in um, Shake's clothing! And Meriadoc... thanks much, and though they sang 'in-utero', me thinks that given Donny and Marie's relatively poor luck lately, it must have been a uterus di-(d)elvis!
Warren Baker - November 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Wow. That was brilliant and amazing. Just goes to show you can never have too much stuff swirling round the skull cavity.

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