(instrumental opening)

(Mike)
Day after day, mouth is feeling bruised.
I can't look for the light through the roaring pain.
You know that my teeth, well, I hate to lose.
But they're hurting again.
Ain't it a shame?

(Dentist)
Aw, gimme the teeth, boy, I'll pull them whole.
And put this here gauze into your pie-hole.
It's tooth decay!

Gimme the teeth, boy, I'll pull them whole.
And put this here gauze into your pie-hole.
It's tooth decay!

(Mike)
Beginning to think that I'm wasting time.
I don't understand the things I chew.
The world of food is so unkind.
And I'm counting on you
to shoot novocaine through!

(Dentist)
Aw, gimme the teeth, boy, I'll pull them whole.
And put this here gauze into your pie-hole.
It's tooth decay!

Gimme the teeth, boy, I'll pull them whole.
And put this here gauze into your pie-hole.
It's tooth decay!

(Mike)
And for this mess I'm in
you know the Vicodin can soothe me.
And in a week or so
some solid food I know comes to me.

Thanks for relief that you've given me.
I want you to know that I'll be paying your bill.
It might take a month, or two, or three.
But I'm coming along.
Mouth is getting strong!

(Dentist)
Aw, gimme the teeth, boy, I'll pull them whole.
And put this here gauze into your pie-hole.
It's tooth decay!

Gimme the teeth, boy, I'll pull them whole.
And put this here gauze into your pie-hole.
It's tooth decay!

(Mike)
Ahhhh, Vicodin!

(Dentist)
Aw, gimme the teeth, boy, I'll pull them whole.
And put this here gauze into your pie-hole.
It's tooth decay!

Gimme the teeth, boy, I'll pull them whole.
And put this here gauze into your pie-hole.
It's tooth decay!

(Mike)
Now, now, now, won't ya
prescribe me!
Aw, prescribe me, yeah!

(instrumental fadeout)