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Song Parodies -> "Vulcans of Swing"

Original Song Title:

"Sultans of Swing"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Dire Straits

Parody Song Title:

"Vulcans of Swing"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

You see a phaser in the dark
Stunned someone in the park
But meantime

Down there on Risa, you stop, and you hold everything

A band is blowin' Dixie, double warp-time
They're in your mind
When you hear their music ring

And now you step inside
And you see those alien faces

Beamin' down outta orbit to hear the jazz go down

Hot musicians
From outer spaces

Their Vulcan horns are blowin' that sound

Beam on down south
Beam on down south
Risa town

You check out
Sitar Strax
Those strings
He attacks

Mind he's strictly stoic you're never going to hear him cry or sing

'Cause his old Earth sitar is how he makes it known
What he's feelin' inside as he's
Playin' his thing

And Harok doesn't mind
If his Vulcan
Blood is green

He's got a Star Fleet job - he's doin' alright!

He can play the Vulcan harp like anything

Saving it up
For shore leave nights

With the Vulcans
With the Vulcans Of Swing

There's a crowd of Ferengi foolin' around in the corner
Drunk and dressed in their lat'num sequins and their polished lobes
They ignore the band
Put lat'num in Dabo-Girly's hands
To try to get her
To disrobe

And the Vulcans
Yeah, the Vulcans, they play Mind-Probe...
...Mind-Probe...

That Vulcan man steps right up to the microphone
Looks at the crowd and raises one eye-brow
"Live long, and pros-per - now go home"
Then he makes his hand - form that old "V"

"We are the Vulcans - We are the Vulcans Of Swing"

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   0
 3
 4
 
 5   20
 16
 16
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Johnny! 5's!
mac - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Love it!
Phil Alexander - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Lovely stuff, JD - conjures up a wonderful image
Adagio - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Yea...does conjure up images. Cool images. Really good, classy job Johnny. 5's
Johnny D - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Everybody: some of those links I posted in my previous comment seem to be unavailable.

And when I cut-and-pasted and tested the last link, the one I describe as "And here's one of them Vulcans of Swing gettin' telepathic with Janet Jackson's distant descendant", when I pasted the URL into my browser, my browser introduced a hyphen ( " - " ) between the " j " and the " p " of " jpg ". If you remove that hyphen after you paste that link into your browser and hit "Go", it will successfully take you to that very funny picture!

Actually, I just re-typed that link here and got rid of the "hidden" hyphen, so the following link should be OK "as is" if you cut-and-paste it:

http://users.adelphia.net/~aurora96/fanfiction/spock.jpg
Johnny D - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Adagio!
Johnny D - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Jack, mac, and Phil. I'm thanking you again, here, because I requested my comment with the bogus URL's to be deleted - but I want my thank-you's to you folks to stay!
Adagio - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny pic, Johnny!
Phil Alexander - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(fx: looks at picture in link) Mwahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Mari D - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Right on! Good thing that they weren't playing Klingon opera! Brings to mind Spock's performance in the "hippie" episode.
Spock - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Although this parody seems to be worthy of logic, it is still highly irregular. A vote of five would seem to be in order even so.
Captain Kirk - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Spock.....that.....was.....the most incredibly......HOT....jazz session I have....ever.....witnessed.....this side of Rigel IV !!
Mr. X - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
It was good; I gave you a perfect score.
Johnny D - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Mr. X !
Guy - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
JD - Extremely clever. It would be hilarious to see a video of a rock group doing this song all done up like Vulcans.
Johnny D - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Guy - good idea, that would be both hilarious and flawlessly logical.
pickle - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Do they give any hecklers the Vulcan death grip?
Johnny D - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, pickle! No, they don't give hecklers the Vulcan death grip - they give them the Vulcan breast grip:

http://users.adelphia.net/~aurora96/fanfiction/spock.jpg
Peregrin - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
JD, you K'ohm Plaq'h! Great work !
alvin rhodes - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
jazz from the planet , vulcan...who woulda thought ?....funny stuff
Johnny D - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Peregrin: Thanks! Hey, please - do you have a link to a website that will translate your alien tongue for me? Is it Klingon or is it Vulcan or is it Howard-Deanian-Screamian?

alvin: Thank you, too - jazz, the universal language...
Guy - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
JD, I found this but that phrase is not found in this online version of Klingon.

http://soultrek.net/faq/klindictionary.htm

He must be speaking some kind of Tex-Mex version of Klingon.
Birgitta - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
This is cute,lol.After seeing your name everywhere,I had to check ya out.Glad I did-really nice! TC
Serafina - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job. I read this yesterday and voted but forgot to comment; I liked it very much.
Paul Robinson - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - You did a "Vulcan" great job on this one. So swing your Vulcan round & round and try not to hit anything with it. I haven't had a chance to look at your stuff lately - this one is mind-melding(melting?). By chance I just submitted a parody for Saturday about the current "Star Trek" series, "Enterprise". Don't know if you will know the original tune by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, it's "This Is The Place" from their latest album "By The Way". (2002 release, I think).
Johnny D - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy: Thanks for the research. I'm curious!

Birgitta: Thanks very much - I like the parodies I've seen from you so far, too - keep writing and posting, I always enjoy reading good stuff.

Serafina: Glad you liked it - thank you!

Paul: Live long, prosper, please accept my thanks, and I shall look for your "Enterprise" parody!
Paul Wooten - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Absolutely brilliant. Rename Rigel IV to V in your honor. I already submitted Trekkie last night, and now I wish I hadn't. This blows mine across the neutral zone TWO PHASERS UP< CAPTAIN. P.S. This rivals your Inflatable Woman, which is my favorite parody on this site. Keep 'em cummin'
Johnny D - February 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Paul. I'm not submitting parodies at the rate I had been, but I am still "in the game", and I will keep 'em cummin' !
Diva - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Very Good!
Birgitta - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I HATE Star Trek,lol-but after my buddy Paul W. sent me a note about this-had to come & check it out! I have no Idea what a Ferengi even looks like..(how pathetic is that?) but I love "Sultans" & I love your pacing & imagination! This is really good Johhny D. :-) Is it too late to vote still? (No clue) I'm givin' ya fives & hope it ain't too late. ; )
Old Comedywriter - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Fascinating. Your perfect pacing and brilliant humor are not typical of your species. It could very likely cause a Romulan to laugh.
MattD - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
That's a damn funny parody fella, and it's not the easiest song to do, but yeah, I like that one.
Agrimorfee - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Feb 04 SOTM--Silly Fanboy material. 544
Johnny D - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
You got THAT right, Maynard! Thanks for stopping by! ;-D
Rick D - September 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Live long and perspire.
Johnny D - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Peace and Blonde Wife, Highlander.
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM FEB) HTOS (Hate The Original Song) - Loved this improvement.
Johnny D - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, K1chyd.
Phil Nelson - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very good one, very funny.
Johnny D - September 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Phil.
Spaff.com - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
I hear that Shatner's got a new CD coming out. (As someone who once owned "The Transformed Man," I just gotta say YIKES.) I suggest harrassing him into including this. Enormous geek-video potential.
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
You can say whatever you want about William Shatner but the guy does have a sense of humor. That upcoming CD will be titled "Has Been". Anyone planning to parody his stuff (I guess covers can be sketched already) or catch him on tour can check this piece of news out:

http://www.xfm.co.uk/Article.asp?id=40491
Paul Robinson - September 25, 2004 - Report this comment
(FEB SOTM) Still love this one as much as when I first saw it back in February. 5's. Guess I have a thing for "Trek" parodies. I find them a lot of "Vulcan" fun...
Johnny D - September 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Mighty Spaff, K1chyd, and Paul.
Phil Alexander - September 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Replaced an old vote... I love the "crowd of Ferengi foolin' around in the corner"... has the feel of the bit from Weird Al's "Saga Begins" video, if you know what I mean.
Claude Prez - September 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Gonna hafta get that Shatner disc; funny stuff Johnny.
Johnny D - September 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Philbo and Claudebo!
Peregrin - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent JD! Tried to sway me, must have known my liking for Star Trek!
Meriadoc - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Never watched an episode of Star Trek in my life, but I guess I must of picked up enough by osmosis to understand most of this excellent parody!
2nz - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
"I'd like to thank ya on behalf of the group and I hope we passed the astral audition. Please direct all comments to Priceline.com." I like my 'Star' with some 'Wars' after it, but I can take a Trek every so often. Good one JD.
Johnny D - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Pippin, Merry, and 2nz.
Jeff Reuben - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Fun read. Worth the Trek down memory lane
Johnny D - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jeff. Or in the case of Counselor Troi and Seven Of Nine, the Trek down mammary lane.
Steven Cavanagh - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Laughed long, and proper.
Johnny D - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Steven.
Michael Pacholek - June 26, 2005 - Report this comment
I don't know how I missed this one, but I think Johnny may have missed it too. It should have been "Vulcans WHO Swing." Would that be logical? No. Would it be funny? Yes! But this is fine.
Johnny D - August 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Michael.
Agrimorfee - January 12, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) I see my above comment...it sounds disparaging. For some reason, I like it even more than before, as if Mark Knopfler was hired to write an ep of DS9! :)
Adagio - January 15, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) Stil as funny as ever, Johnny!
Matthias - January 20, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) Out of this world, and I so agree with K1 chyd...
Red Ant - January 20, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABCV) How can anyone hate TOS? Granted Mark Knopfler's (sp?)outro is too long but anyway... I love a good Star Trek parody and this is very good.
Kristof Robertson - January 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) May the force be with you! Huh?...Whaddya mean, wrong movie?...Oh....;-) 555
Stuart McArthur - January 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC-V) ah, this one was before my time. I'm not full bottle on Star Trek, Johnny, but I can still appreciate a fine bit of writing - 555
Arwen - January 24, 2006 - Report this comment
ABC...Stuart sort of stole my comment. =( I was going to say that I'm sure that I would appreciate this a LOT more if I knew what the hell you were talking about...but it's very nicely written...anyone can see that...=)
Rex - March 02, 2007 - Report this comment
One of the biggest laughs I've had all day! May you live long and continue writing parodies...
Johnny D - July 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Belated thanks, Rex!

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