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Song Parodies -> "Choke on the Goiter"

Original Song Title:

"Smoke on the Water"

Original Performer:

Deep Purple

Parody Song Title:

"Choke on the Goiter"

Parody Written by:

Jim Rotondo

The Lyrics

We're told to use salt in moderation, but iodine deficiencies can be awful. So then, you dine the way you want, and iodine the way I want.
We all know about the thyroid
Between our necks and collarbones.
The normal job of this gnarly gland
Is turn iodine into hormones.
But when you don’t get enough salt
Like some old Third World countries.
The thyroid starts-going haywire
Due to iodine deficiencies.
Choke on the Goiter, my neck is growing wild.
Choke on the Goiter.

My eyes now bulge like baseballs
My shirts don’t button down.
My larynx is plump like a melon
And my neck’s inflated-bloated-brown.
I now can’t face my best girl
She sort of frowns upon my goiter.
Spotted her today at the town mall
Ducked behind Sears to avoid ‘er.
Choke on the Goiter, it’s really hard to swallow.
Choke on the Goiter.

So I ended up in this freak show
I refused to let the Doc cut it out.
I drowned my sorrows in a bottle
Then got afflicted with a case of gout.
The real moral of this story
Is to go ahead and salt your fries.
And any other food that lacks flavor
Or your neck will grow into your eyes.
Choke on the Goiter, my head’s on overload.
Choke on the Goiter.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - April 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Nevere mind the salt, I'm choking from laughter! Brilliant, as usual, Jimbo!!!
John Barry - April 16, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm goiter give you fives. Clever as hell.
malcolm higgins - April 16, 2009 - Report this comment
how many people know what a goiter even is? 5's all around for a medical marvel
Jim Rotondo - April 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks guys, whew, you never know how these Wikipedia sourced educational tunes will be received, now planning on the recording.
TJC - April 16, 2009 - Report this comment
You're a thyro but no tyro... and no one can call you a pencil-neck geek... great job with this medical, er, malody!
John Lomain - April 17, 2009 - Report this comment
John Barry took my comment. I always thought it was funny on the SATs how goiter was a wrong answer in the sample question when the right answer was got to. Funny
Tommy Turtle - April 17, 2009 - Report this comment
... or use sea salt, which naturally contains iodine and the other 56 minerals found in sea water that are removed from refined salt before they add back the iodine.

Or just do as we Turtles do, and eat a little seaweed. Ever see a turtle with goiter? See? ... 555 for "Iodine the way..." alone, and please don't be bashful about coming to my parties as well.
Jim Rotondo - April 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Thank you Gents! While table salt is pretty bad, it should be noted that Celery is one of the best sources for the natural sodium we need, so you'll earn more with an increase in celery.
Nice follow-up! - April 17, 2009 - Report this comment

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