There once was an axeman, a strange kind of axeman
The kind that gets written down in history
His name was Ritchie, his tongue a little bitchy
He left a trail of happiness and misery
I loved him, everybody loved him
I loved every one until just after BURN
I tried the next one, I even tried the last one
They thought it would be better after Gillan's turn.

I want it, I need it, I gotta go buy it
I spent my money as I bought my BURN
I want it, I need it, I gotta go buy it
ooh, what a strange kind of axeman.

He then gave us Rainbow, and then again with Purple
With Joe Lynn Turner, boy, you won't go far
I couldn't stand him, his head's getting bigger, I said
Soon it will be Gillan singing HIGHWAY STAR.

I want it, I need it, I gotta go buy it
I spent my money as I bought my BURN
I want it, I need it, I gotta go buy it
Ooh, what a strange kind of axeman.

Well, he finally went acoustic but I didn't like the music
No more Blackers and I almost cried
I'm dreaming, I feel like screaming
I want the old Blackmore but I think he died.

I want it, I need it, I gotta go buy it
I spent my money, won't I ever learn?
I want it, I need it, I gotta go buy it
Ooh, what a strange kind of axeman.