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Song Parodies -> "Blight of Scars"

Original Song Title:

"Life on Mars?"

Original Performer:

David Bowie

Parody Song Title:

"Blight of Scars"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

A sequel of sorts to "Don't Ask Me Why"...this time, our foolhardy male gets trapped in a hellish hospital after a night of drinking!
Can’t see anything through this gauze
But I’m hoping that there’s a clause
In my insurance policy
That accounts for what’s happened to me

So, I foolishly jumped in a cage
With a tiger and bull, enraged
‘Cause I’d been set up on a dare
I got trampled in their rampage

And my foresight, it wasn’t far
When I went in that mobsters’ bar!
Only came for a round of pool
No, I wasn’t expecting a...

HAY-mak-er smack in the jawbone!
Two thugs went and snapped my elbows
After breaking my nose...
That’s on top of my RUN-in with that Samurai guy!
Thought he’d gladly give to me his sword
I didn’t know I’d get gored...
Got a blight of SCA-aaars!!

I see the nurses, they look irate
As they dejectedly watch my state
“It’s no wonder he cannot see:
His head’s where his arm should be”

Now my face has a million holes
It seems suitable to house a mole
And my skin is all carved with grooves
Like a lizard’s--but not as smooth!

And I’ll have an enormous bill
Just because I’d taken my fill
Of some booze on that fateful night
Didn’t know that I’d wind up in...

EEEE-R, driven into debt now!
Oh man, being gouged by these quacks!
Can’t they cut me some slack?!
I’ll be here for a LONG time, due to my condition
And now, I found they don’t clean their tools
(On all their scalpels they drool...)
Maybe I’ve got SARS?!?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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Matthias - April 24, 2007 - Report this comment
David Bowie's screaming of the words added to this, I would love to hear you record this one!
TJC - April 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice work skewering that drunk/ER/debt-machine troika. "High" fives!
Agrimorfee - April 24, 2007 - Report this comment
(Ages) In writing parodies, you're a STARRR, Man!
Ann Hammond - April 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Kristof Robertson - April 25, 2007 - Report this comment
This deserves far more votes than it's recieved, Cat. As an officionado of injury-related parodies, I loved this! 555
Below Average Dave - May 05, 2007 - Report this comment
(Ages) Very Good Cat, I agree with Kristof, I'm not sure why this one wasn't seen by more people.
tomario - May 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Cat just take these 5s three times a day and you will feel better in the morning. (if your head is where your arm should did you hold the pen in your outh when you wrote this ? lol great work.
Michael McVey - May 07, 2007 - Report this comment
I think our feline friend will need more than a few aspirins, tomario ;) This one can make you laugh til it hurts.
Wolverine - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
(Ages) Wow, funny in a tragic way. If this is a sequel, I don't think this poor man will make it to a trilogy. The mobster's bar was classic!
Jack Wilson - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
That was awesome, now that OS is on my to do list has "Fights In Bars"been done?
bobpiecheese - May 10, 2007 - Report this comment
(AGES) Loved the way you worked in the emphasis. One of your best...although you probably get that a lot!
Matthias - September 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Ouch! Just as painful the 2nd time!!!
Agrimorfee - September 11, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4) Those scars still haven't healed? :)
bobpiecheese - September 16, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4) If there was life on Mars, may bet says the'd enjoy this as much as I do (which is a lot)!
stuart mcarthur - September 18, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4) ah, a sequel to Matthias's entry! absolutely loved the pithy "His head’s where his arm should be" Cat - and a great whining OS match-up for the subject matter - 555
Kristof Robertson - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4B) As Stu said, a wonderful companion to Matty's bar fight. As mentioned before, stupendous work, Cat
Below Average Dave - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) Yet another one I've seen already:) Already familiar with this one also
Jeff Reuben - September 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Read till it hurts =) Excellent job!
Jack Wilson - September 20, 2007 - Report this comment
See above!

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