Didn't know where my ass was, my mind works slow
I tuned into my radio
Some dude was talking "bout lesbos and sex
I was shocked, what next?
Then the loud voice got really low
Came back with a Stern sound with a blast of gas
That was some D. J., so I called the F.C.C.

There's a Fartman, stinkin' up my air
He's come just to pollute us
And he's ugly with long hair
There's a Fartman, stinkin' up my air
He turns around and blows it
Cause he knows he's on our dial

He told us:
"Let the E-show lose me"
"Satellite will choose me"
"Now I will go pick a boogie"

I had to phone someone when I heard that bomb
Hey, write a gripe to the network, mom
Switch off the station so we can sing our complaining psalm
Get out the Bible and turn off the light
If we can ban him we will prove we're right
Go tell the chairman and we'll win this media fight

There's a Fartman, stinkin' up my air
He's come just to pollute us
And he's ugly with long hair
There's a Fartman, stinkin' up my air
He turns around and blows it
Cause he knows he's on our dial

He told us:
"Let the E-show lose me"
"Satellite will choose me"
"Now I will go pick a boogie"