Woodwork teacher says you're a fool
He's not sure if it's a chair or a stool
Hey stupid! The nail goes there
Hey stupid! There's glue in your hair
It's no fun when you can't create
Your french dresser's looking like a crate
You're inept and you're feeling dumb
Oh my god! You've just sawn off your thumb!
They put you down and say "give in"
Maybe crotchet is more your thing.....

Bevel bevel, you're under stress
Bevel bevel, your table's a mess
Bevel bevel, can't even glue
Your hand....that nail went through (aaarghhh!)

They threw your birdhouse in the bin
It's not safe for birds to be livin' in
That drill don't work anymore
Put down that circular saw
It's no fun when you can't create
Your french dresser ain't looking that great
Walk away or you'll end up dead
Your use of power tools fills me with dread
They put you down, call you a jerk
Can't even make sandpaper work!

Bevel bevel, you're under stress
Bevel bevel, your table's a mess
Bevel bevel, can't even glue
You've lost....a digit or two (s**t!)

The wood's distressed, your bench is a mess
Although you try hard you are lacking finesse
Who said a screwdriver is a weapon?
Please show some mercy, leave that timber alone
Why don't you quit now and take up the trombone?
Hey, you've done your best
What the f**k is that...a chest?
Well, I would never have guessed
Boy, you really blow...
Hey man, where's your big toe?....

Doo-doo-da-doo doopa-doobee-doobee