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Song Parodies -> "Hookers At My Front Door"

Original Song Title:

"Lookin' Out My Back Door"

Original Performer:

Creedence Clearwater Revival

Parody Song Title:

"Hookers At My Front Door"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

As if buying property wasn't hard enough these days....
Just moved in to my new place
Neighbourhood's a disgrace
Pimps on the prowl, painted gals by the score
And now I realise why
Cars slow as they drive by
Two two two...hookers at my front door

Miss Delilah's doin' fast deals
And Lulu's wearin' high heels
Makes me angry; they're conducting "bi'ness" on the lawn
Right next to my white picket
Hoes are sellin' tickets
Two two two...hookers at my front door

Ten marines take off their pants; it's supply and demand
I won't go outside when they're buying poon
Noo, noo, noo...
Guys are loving ladies
Next to my Mercedes
Two two two...hookers at my front door

( a cheesy 80's porno stylee)

Tanned-up teens with breast implants are playing "hide the gland"
And they're selling rides to a whole platoon
Noo, noo, noo...
My garage they've "borrowed"
I'm moving out tomorrow
Shoo, shoo, shoo!...Hookers at my front door

Heading back to Dad and Mom
Sick of finding condoms
Quite a prophylactic garden coverin' my lawn
Nothing there would keep me
Not even all the freebies
So adieu....hookers at my front door!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   20

User Comments

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Stuart McArthur - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
at least they're not IN your Mercedes, Kristof - so what are you complaining about? caveat emptor I say - 555 - btw does Mom mean Mum? (just kidding - from a self-confessed Aussie who uses "ass")
Kristof Robertson - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Stu...yeah, I should be ashamed of myself for pandering to Americans; but "mom" does rhyme better with condom...
Arwen - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Hilarious, KR!
alvin rhodes - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
many wonderful lines in this well written parody...5s plus
Royce Miller - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, but have you had women with clubs chase each other on your street???? That's a real treat.
AFW - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Hookers, eh? hmm, where do you live?....Probably can't deal much with fives, tho
Martha - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Not in your part of town surely......... superb as usual!!
Rick C - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Another winner here, Kristof, keep 'em comin'.......fivers
Adagio - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment
I should have known that you wrote it, Kristof. Funny as all get out. :D 5's
Ashkicksass - May 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Hoot Hoot Hoot!
Want 5's? Here are three more!
Dee Range - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
LMFAO Kristof. 555 as usual. This got me wondering where their pimp was, so KING OF THE HO'S is coming out tomorrow.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
It could have been worse, you could have been living next to theater scheduled to show the new Star Wars movie, then it would have been "Wookies at your front door". Or next to a mob restaurant; "Bookies at your front door".
Agrimorfee - September 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) I hear they're building condos down near the Chicken Ranch in Texas....555
Johnny D - October 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) Thou speakest according to the trick!
Michael McVey - October 05, 2006 - Report this comment
A high-rent parody about a low-rent district.--MM
Red Ant - October 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) Funny work here, Kristof, and the recording really brought it to life. Not even freebies would keep you? - that must be a rough neighborhood! 555
Stuart McArthur - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3-H) poon? and seeing "mom" rhymed with "condom" makes me need a cup of tea - typically clever stuff KR - and whacky recording too
Matthias - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
It could be worse, I could be your neighbor....
Scathe - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC-H) You must have a mob realtor
Jeff Reuben - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
It could be worse, Matthias could be my neighbor. Excellent recording!
Paul Robinson - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Glad I saw all the comments on this, Kristof...this is wonderfully hysterical right from the first verse all the way through! Packed (so to speak) with great lines and rhymes...5's, of course ~ ~ ~

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