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Song Parodies -> "Vow of Silence (I Can't Talk Anymore)"

Original Song Title:

"We Don't Talk Anymore"

Original Performer:

Cliff Richard

Parody Song Title:

"Vow of Silence (I Can't Talk Anymore)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The song looked like it was "praying" to have something like this done to it!
Used to always hear me bleat
My cell phone gained a huge receipt
But nowadays I silently pray

Geezers killed their hearing aids
Cause when I yapped I could talk all day
I found religion and all of that changed

Cause they handed me these brown prayer robes
To be a holy monk
Man, This vow of silence blows
I’m such a lonely punk
To this Bible I’m stuck

Monastery… Won’t let me talk anymore
Once was chatty but I can’t talk anymore
No, You won’t hear a peep because talk is cheap
Might go batty cause I can’t talk anymore!

(Noooooooooooooooo! I can’t talk!)

Can’t use nice words to flatter hotties
No sex, I’m grieving, Darn chastity
Since I took that vow
You won’t hear me speak

Well, I handed over my iPhone
And grabbed their feathered pen
Prayer verse I’m writing in ink
Ain’t a trophy job!
But at least I have one!

It’s so stinking that I can’t talk anymore!
We’re still singing but we can’t talk anymore!
Once I used to be bleeped cause those swear words were heaped
(Heaped! F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!)
Phone’s not ringing cause I can’t talk anymore!

(Nooooooooooooo!!! I can’t talk!!!)

Conversations were deep and poems made you weep
(Weeeeeep!!! Oath! Oath! Oath!)
I’ve gone saintly and can’t talk anymore!

I can’t talk! I can’t talk!)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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Porfle Popnecker - September 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Clever parody!
Katie - October 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Very funny!
Agrimorfee - October 20, 2011 - Report this comment
I now take part in a Vow of 555.
Rex - October 23, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) You quietly wrote a divinely inspired parody.
SamuraiMaster - October 27, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Phone is a want. Heh.
Blaydeman - October 27, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) A recording of this would be funny as heck! Of course, it would be contradictory as well, LOL! Awesome job Matty!
Blaydeman - October 29, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above ^^^^^^
bobpiecheese - October 30, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Is it weird that I've been Christian since I was, like, five and yet I've only encountered someone taking a vow of silence on TV? Maybe this is the Holy Order Of Shunning Technology To Get Teenagers To Shut The Hell Up. That aside, very amusing parody here, Matt. I send to thee these three fives, may ye do...something with them.
Jeff Reuben - October 31, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Lyrics about not talking, interesting concept. After seeing bleat in the first line I kept waiting for a goat to show up. Funny stuff.
bobpiecheese - October 31, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above.
Below Average Dave - November 04, 2011 - Report this comment
Hmm. . .Vow of Silence? I am not familiar with that (I guess the monk in Anger Management wasn't under such a vow). The concept is funny and it applies well to the song, what I find interesting is it is a first person perspective, the idea of someone who isn't supposed to talk. . .singing. . .is kind of strange since I would assume not being able to talk would also render against singing--especially a 70s pop hit. At any rate--very interesting, I enjoyed it based on that even though the whole concept of a person who isn't supposed to talk complaining bitterly via singing is strange--especially since he clearly longs to go back to times before "Chasity and feathered pens" over Iphones. . .but is forcing himself to stay with his religion (hey not dissing that--I know MANY people who have done things that they aren't comfortable with in the name of religion--like give money to people on Christmas or marry someone:)
Glen S - February 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Funny stuff Matt. Liked the 'peep/cheap' couplet and 'were singing but we can't talk anymore' line.
Peregrin - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
I liked this Matthias. "Well, I handed over my iPhone, and grabbed their feathered pen" was my favourite :)
Meriadoc - September 03, 2012 - Report this comment
U/V - Hmmm...sound like you are having second thoughts on those vows, Brother Matthias. Better work on that. 555 lashes with a knotted rope for you.
Abbott Skelding - September 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Never heard the OS before, but this was really good. I think it would have been hilarious if the lyrics just stopped after the first chorus haha
Blaydeman - September 11, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above again^^^ still good

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