Post lady brought phone bill, I opened - screamed so shrill
My son and my daughter
They’ve managed without skill to put me through the mill

Amazing high phone bill - it’s itemised, you know
Reverse charges from Ireland?
I can’t believe Bono, he blew ‘way all my dough

That flaming high phone bill - why blood, should I not spill?
Must beg, steal and borrow
That is at least until, I pay this bleedin’ bill

My kiddies upped phone bill - a one-nine hundred plight
It ripped like a splinter
With chagrin I recite - an utt’rance impolite...

My flaming high phone bill, could solve with sleeping pills
My ache’s telesorrow
My life was fine until - this bill sent me downhill

Ring ring ring ring ring...

This flaming high phone bill - why do you ream me so?
But I just might get violent
Wish I knew taekwondo; would give Bell quid pro quo

My spawn did betray me - I’m grim: swear, rave and cry
Their call days soon be few
Their woes will multiply, to long prose say goodbye

That pole of util’ty - I’ve sawn, now slain it lie
In maulways forthwith through
Deposed pole severed lies, compost will it be nigh