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Song Parodies -> "Black Water Whacked"

Original Song Title:

"Smack Water Jack"

Original Performer:

Carole King

Parody Song Title:

"Black Water Whacked"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRIto

The Lyrics


Got black water whacked,
Is just not no fun.
You see the gas and crude,
And the dribbled desolation.
They just a-let it all run loose,
And there's the stink of oil juice,
They couldn't be no more obtuse,
So we're brought down in devastation.

You can't talk to a man,
When the yacht fun is at hand. (Yacht Fun)

The big rig so deep,
Is now out of order.
With sludge thick as lard loose drums,
Soon impound the water.
Now from the Gulf states south,
To the Mississippi mouth.
Got to try, un-blot the tide,
To clean up, and treat,
For our lives on the water! (Oh no - oh oh no)

You can't walk on the sand,
From Keys to the Rio Grande.
Oh, no, no, no, no.

The amount that needs captured,
Can't be soped with paper,
We should go and tank that black right now,
And ebb the waders.
You know now feeble are the seas,
BP brought us to our knees,
Just plug that hole, 'cause there be nary a pier,
That you'd fish for hake there.

You can't dock on or tan,
With that blot spun in the sand,
That blot spun in the sand. (Black water smacked, yeah)

Black water whacked is just not fun.
Yeah, black water smacked is just not fun.
Oh, black water jacked, yeah. (ohhh we spot and blot, scum)
Talkin' 'bout black water smacked, now. (Oooooooooh)
Talkin' 'bout jacked and it's not fun.
Talkin' 'bout smacked.
Talkin' 'bout jacked.
Black water smacked, yeah.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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TJC - June 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Moody n' downright splatmospheric! Nice verbiage... particularly appreciated, "...dribbled desolation'...
LadyNorCAL - June 22, 2010 - Report this comment
sirGuy, so good to see you back, Sir , ~Le Knight d'Eau Noir ~
Fiddlegirl - June 22, 2010 - Report this comment
A fitting soundtrack to the awful pictures on the evening news... Good to see you back here again, Guy!
AFW - June 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Good job, Guy...and I join the welcome back chorus
John Barry - June 22, 2010 - Report this comment
BP--threat or menace? Good job on an evil outfit.
Christie Marie M - June 22, 2010 - Report this comment
As I've said to Tommy Turtle, and to you again, welcome back, friend! Nice to see you writing again! I myself need to work on parodies myself. Great use of OS for this subject! And speaking of 'black water whacked' I found this interesting clip from the 80's movie 'Creepshow 2':

That scene had reminded me of the Oil Spill caused by BP.

Well, the waters along the Gulf and beyond may be tainted with muck, but your satire isn't! 555!
Guy - June 22, 2010 - Report this comment
TJC - Glad you liked that coupling of verbage. I just call 'em like I see 'em. Thanks buddy!

Lady of Le Petite Cakes, let them eat bread. And I am so very glad to see you write on my page. I have been "out of the water" so to speak for eight months to the day and you are still here with your muchly appreciated and finely honed comments. You make my day - thanks!

Fiddlegirl - How nice of you to bestow me with such a positive comment. It is good to see you once again as well. I'll be posting for a bit as I have a small supply of ready written parodies wiating in the wings and I'm writing more. Another BP will come later on. I have some fun stuff to put out first. Thanks bunches!

Farce - It feels good to be missed. Thanks for the welcome. old buddy.

JB - We are past the threat part and menace went to promise. You gotta watch them BP boys 'cause they's slick. Thanks!

Christie - That video was slick - too bad that wasn't Tony Hayward what got sucked up. I saw your comment to TT and I chimed in as well. This black gold is no Texas tea party and it is providing plenty of fodder for the satirists. Thanks for your comment and the link to that video. Could the Gulf get as bad as that sludge thing was?
John Jenkins - June 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Very good stuff, Guy, particularly the shotgun/yacht fun substitution.
TT - June 23, 2010 - Report this comment
DKTOS, so can't appreciate, e. g., what John Jenkins cited. Clearly, we have different takes on this, and this seems a bit exaggerated -- It hasn't hit the Keys, AFAIK, and look up "Loop Current" and "Forbidden Zone", say, on weatherunderground.

Still, it's definitely not a good thing, whereas seeing that you've resolved your personal matters to being able to return *is* a good thing. (I actually had someone ask me if we had coordinated our return dates. Uh, no...)
Guy - June 23, 2010 - Report this comment
JJ - I was wondering if anyone was going to pick up on that yacht race that Hayward had to attend over the weekend. That must be him getting his life back. Oddly enough the yacht's name is Bob. I guess that is what it would do if it were to become entangled in an oil slick. ANd 'O" hears the word Gulf and that's what he does, Golf. Thanks for oiling my skids.

TT - I know it hasn't reached the Keys yet but it is only a matter of time and this parody will still be around way after it does. Life has been so serious for me of late and I thought it was just about the right time to start "getting my life back", so here I am. Actually we would not have come back on the same day if Hayward had not attended that yacht race over the weekend. This parody had been written for several days and I wanted it out while the event was still current. I was going to wait about another week before I started posting again. Hey and thanks for acknowledging my effort. Our views on the matter and our subject matter in our satire may differ but I respect you as a writer. It's nice to rub cyber shoulders with one of the great ones again.
Seamermar - January 26, 2011 - Report this comment
That was good dear Guy, I especially love this parody, since we had here in Spain a whole lot of it. Did you remember about PRESTIGE ?, I'm sure you did. An old single tank oil ship that split in two and sank offshore Finisterre, spilling out the entire black damn pulp desolation. When authorities spoke about, only lies sprang from their mouths. they said the leakage wasn't worth to mention, but in the end turned up to be incalculable. As a non English-speaker I do appreciate the way you screw words to fit with the real lyrics. You must know I mostly learn from songs and, rather, from lyrics. Smack Water Jack has been spinning in my head for long. I tried to imagine the mouth of Big Jim, even saw the posse behind the old outlaw. What I mean to say is I just try to live it up as much as I can, and reading this parody of yours I felt the sadness and the sorrow along the shores. As for this sentence I didn't pick what you meant to tell in it: You can't talk to a man, When the yacht fun is at hand. In this one : The amount that needs captured, Can't be soped with paper, I'm not sure about "sope". In Spanish it simply doesn't exist. So I guess it comes from Mex or South-American. Perhaps, should it be wiped by paper ? And finally this one : You can't dock on or tan, With that blot spun in the sand, remains me when we had to clean the surface from our tug, everyone ended up tired and tan...from the black blot petrol mud. In any case you did good work Diritos I like your try in this parody trade. Paco the guy don't like a taco.

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