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Song Parodies -> "Kwai Chang Caine"

Original Song Title:

"You're So Vain"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Carly Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Kwai Chang Caine"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Rex Ungericht already did this, but I need a bunch of songs to pass the little Japanese-cartoon freak, so what better way to make up some ground than with a song about a live-action Asian(-American) hero?
(whispered)
You fu of the kung...

(instrumental opening)

He walked onto the prairie
like he was walking down off a junk.
His hat strategically dipped below one eye.
He looked like a Chinese monk.
He had one eye on nirvana as
he had that Wild West funk.
And from his hand you cannot snatch the pebble.
Not snatch the pebble and...

Kwai Chang Caine
you probably think this song is about you.
Kwai Chang Caine
I'll bet you think this song is about you.
Don't you?
Don't you?
Don't you?

Well, I watched it several years ago
when I was still quite naive
and his hands flashed around, such a pretty pair
too fast for me to believe.
And "Kung Fu" would air on Channel 4
three years on NBC.

He had some dreams busted up by the triads
up by the triads, and...

Kwai Chang Caine
you probably think this song is about you.
Kwai Chang Caine
I'll bet you think this song is about you.
Don't you?
Don't you?
Don't you?

(instrumental break)

I tried his moves, but was spilling my coffee
spilling my coffee, and

Kwai Chang Caine
you probably think this song is about you.
Kwai Chang Caine
I'll bet you think this song is about you.
Don't you?
Don't you?
Don't you?

Well, they brought the story up to date.
A new show Carradine's done.
The original's descendant in the present L.A.
and he's got a cop for a son.
They were where they should be all the time
and they did some battle with
some underworld spies and the new Chinese drug lords
new Chinese drug lords, and...

Kwai Chang Caine
you probably think this song is about you.
Kwai Chang Caine
I'll bet you think this song is about you.
Don't you?
Don't you?
Don't you?

Kwai Chang Caine
you probably think this song is about you.
Kwai Chang Caine
you probably think this song is about you.
Kwai Chang Caine
you probably think this song is about you.
(repeat 'til fade)
That's WNBC-TV, Channel 4 in New York, not the British TV network Channel Four. If they've also broadcast the 1970s series "Kung Fu" or the 1990s series "Kung Fu: The Legend Continues," I'm not aware of it.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 1
 
 5   7
 7
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TJC - October 08, 2007 - Report this comment
"...they made such a pretty pair" LOL!
alvin - October 08, 2007 - Report this comment
well done grasshopper....the opening remarks cracked me up too
MrMacphisto - October 08, 2007 - Report this comment
You fu of the pun, Michael... :) 5-5-5
Guy - October 08, 2007 - Report this comment
If this were Helen Ready's song "I am woman" you could apply it to the honorable Mr. Kwai in the part where the song says "We are invincible" and parody it to have it say "He beats up imbeciles". All in all MP, good parody but I think you used too much of the original but that's just me. I'm dinging you to four on overall for that. Still very funny though.
Linda Em - October 14, 2007 - Report this comment
All of these are very funny but Michael Pacholek has the best. This guy is incredibly funny. So what do you do in your real life Michael when you're not having so much fun?

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