You moved into my condo one day back in '95
You had strategically slipped under my guard
By talking a lot of jive
You had one bag and a suitcase that
You'd brought from your old dive
And lots of grand plans of finding a job yeah
Finding a job yeah and...

You're a drain
I must think of some way to evict you
You're a drain
I must think of some way to evict you
Kick you out yeah

You conned me several years ago when I was still quite naive
You said that it'd be less than a full year
But I found that you'd never leave
Well you sold off all the things I loved
Including my TV
I found I paid for all of your coffee
Your Starbucks coffee and...

You're a drain
You're someone that I must give the flick to
You're a drain
You're someone that I must give the flick to
Kick you out yeah

Well I watched you scarf down my Coca-Cola
Play Disco Duck just for fun
Then you blew my rent dough on a stupid greyhound
You called a fortune waiting to be won
Well your pet rat is no friend of mine
And when you're hot you sit
In underwear such that reminds me of Pig-Pen
'Minds me of Pig-Pen, and...

You're a drain
I must think of some way to evict you
You're a drain
You're someone that I must give the flick to
Yes you prick, you