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Song Parodies -> "Man Hands"

Original Song Title:

"Badlands"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bruce Springsteen

Parody Song Title:

"Man Hands"

Parody Written by:

Charlie Decker

The Lyrics

You find a beautiful girl, and everything about her is perfect. Until, suddenly, you realize...MAN HANDS!! What is more of a turn-off than realizing that she could palm your head like a basketball if she wanted to? The following is partially based on a true story...with some Seinfeld references thrown in for good measure
Lights out tonight, trouble in the bedroom
Got a new lover woman, met her this afternoon
It got hot and heavy, I think that we might screw
But there's one thing that I don't like, girl
She's playing the man!
And she loves to make me scream
She's playing the man,
Raucous, loud and obscene
Honey, she's six foot two, she's on a roll, she's got control right now
Talks dirty to me
Doesn't turn me on
Any chance of escape,
I will seize upon
She swears like a sailor but I must say, what scares me most
Are those great giant sweaty

Man hands!
Yes you deal with them every day
But they're on your own wrists, and that makes it all OK
Among us men it's understood
That these man hands on women ain't good

To big for her arms, thick fingers and wide palms
Causes for alarm, nixing any turn-on
Half woman and half beast, wish she'd hooks instead
You better get it straight girl,
Poor men want their girls rich
Rich men wanna date teens
But a pair of mannish hands can ruin everything
Well she could rip me in half, or tear a lobster from its shell
Now her face is real cute, and her hair's nice
And her body's real great, and her butt's tight
And her smell and her walk and her voice
But somehow I can't get past
Those awful

Man hands!
Yes you deal with them every day
But they're on your own wrists, and that makes it all OK
Among us men it's understood
That these man hands on women ain't good

For those who had a notion
A notion deep inside
That those hands belong on the groom, not the bride
I wanna find a mate, with hands that are girly
I wanna find a mate, why am I destined to date girls with

Man hands!
Yes you deal with them every day
But they're on your own wrists, and that makes it all OK
Among us men it's understood
That these man hands on women ain't good

Man hands! No, no no no
Man hands! No, no no no....
Leave comments! It's the only way I'll ever learn...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
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 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   0
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 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   7
 6
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny song, Seinfeld =)
John Barry - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm handing you some fives.
Charlie Decker - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, I need them. It seems that the "one guy" has been hitting me extra hard ever since my return to the site...
Michael Pacholek - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Fives for having the, uh, knuckles to do this.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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