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Song Parodies -> "Bad-Ass Wayne (the Story of)"

Original Song Title:

"Hurricane (the Story of)"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Bad-Ass Wayne (the Story of)"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

Bob Dylan plays around with his own pacing on the original, and I've tried to honour his pacing here - which is why some verses seem to end differently to others
Machine-gun farts RING out - through the party night
Exit all the dancers - from the discotheque floor
The hostess ENTERS - in a state of fright
She cries out "MY GOD!!!!....He's killed them all!"
Here comes the story of Bad-Ass Wayne
the man society came to blame
for something that he never done
He was ridiculed, but ONE...
time he coulda been...
the king of that dance floor

Three men who were in that room, the hostess sees
one of them, named Bello, movin' around mysteriously
"I was just bending over," this Bello guy said,
"fiddling with the volume of the stereo set...
- but I saw Wayne hang around a bit long!
seemed he was ENJOYING taking in that foul pong"
and then the hostess asked around...
Did anybody SEE - what went DOWN?
on this hot New Jersey night!

Meanwhile, not far away, in the corner of the lounge
Bad-Ass Wayne was giggling at what had just gone down
He said he'd never SMELT a fart like that - there was no doubt
a horrible horrible load was just preparin' to come out
But then the hostess saw him THERE - and she screamed
"It's just like the time before and the time before that!
You wreck parties where-ever you GO!
- I'd rather you not SHOW......
at ALL!
if you're gonna let one blow!"

Now Bad-Ass Wayne could clear a church with just one lunch
but lately he'd stopped doing it - all that much
"I've matured," he said, "now I do it for fun
only on my lonesome - when it don't upset no-one...
To - me - it's - para-dise!
I let one rip and the air smells nice
I like to TAKE a deep inhale
it's not FAIR I'm being IMPALED.....
when I didn't do nothin' wrong!

Meanwhile Bello's buddies were whisp'ring to themselves
"We'll say we saw Wayne high-fiving - over by the shelves"
They worked out their story, then they went to the hostess
There's something we should tell you, miss, about this awful mess
And the hostess listened - then she shook her head
"That sonofabitch is gonna WISH he was dead"
then she took him to the lavat-o-ry...
to force him to re-fart, so SHE....
could SEE...
if HE...
WAS the guilty man!

Four in the morning and Wayne was still unable
coz, usually, by this time he was out under a table
The hostess' friends say, "Maybe.....HE aint the guy"
but the hostess said "well someone's gotta pay for this crime"
Yes here's the story of Bad-Ass Wayne
the man society came to blame
for somethin' that he never done
he was ridiculed but ONE...
time he coulda been
the king of that dance floor

Four months later, Bad-Ass Wayne is sitting in his home
noone ever asks him out - he spends his days alone
while Bello and his mates, they are STILL parading 'round
they didn't care about the way they'd run Wayne outta town
Thought THEY were doing society a favour
Grounding Bad-Ass WAYNE is an ozone-layer saver
They had to PUT that ass in stir!
they had to pin that awful BUR....
-bler on HIM!
coz he aint no gentleman Jim!

Bad-Ass Wayne was ostracised and falsely condemned
just for having priors, though he thought he'd made amends
Bello and his buddies - they ALL boldly lied
and the hostess, well, she simply went along for the ride
How can the LIFE of such a master
be in the palm of silent farters?
To see him obviously framed
couldn't help but make me feel ASHAMED.....
to live in a town
where justice is a game

Now Bello gets to sit around, in his coat and his tie
sipping on martinis - or a tequila sunrise
while Bad-Ass Wayne remains incarcerated - in his home
watching Jerry Springer Shows - all on his own
Yes - that's the story of Bad-Ass Wayne
and it won't be over 'til they clear his name
and ask him BACK to their part-EES
to give him back the chance he NEEDS......
to be KING
of the disco-dancing FLOOR
.....ooh yeah...

(lots of earnest emotional violins, then fade....)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dee Range - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Never would have thought this song could have been done so well.Tremendous job, Stuart. High 5's
Ashkicksass - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
John Barry - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Ditto what Dee said.
Michael Pacholek - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
This isn't about Batman? (Bruce Wayne)
Stuart McArthur - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Dee.....Thanks John - I loved the original Hurricane - almost my favourite Dylan song.....Ash - so they no longer play this song in Utah? - it's the one about Reuben Carter, that they based the movie "Hurricane" on, with Denzel........... thanks Michael (I think) for the read
Jeff Reuben - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Hmmm...don't know the song either. Need to read up on my Dylan
Stuart McArthur - October 23, 2004 - Report this comment
(memo to self: choose songs where people KTOS)
Adagio - April 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-2005) DKTOS
Charlie Decker - April 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Fantastic job with one of my favorite songs of all time!
Agrimorfee - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) It's good, even not knowing the OS. That's the mark of a good parody writer!
Scathe - April 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-B) Killer parody, Stu.
MysteryGoat - April 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Guy - April 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-B) DKTOS but this smells of a good one.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Quite an effort. Hope you didn't strain anything. ;)
Stuart McArthur - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-05) - excellent Stu - LOVED this one
Melhi - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(aBc) Wow, this is probably the most high-dollar treatment ever given a fart theme. :) That in itself is pretty darned funny.
Johnny D - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) That Dylan tune's a bastard to parody - your effort is impressive, to say the least.
Kristof Robertson - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Sorry Stu...Dylan doesn't feature in my CD collection, so I DKTOS (the shame....). However this, as per usual for you, is a FANTASTIC read.
Phil Alexander - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Very impressive - well, I guess it never Waynes but it prrrps
Jeff Reuben - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
I sit here in the Wayning hours of the day reading...well done!
Invisible Boy - March 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Ok, so Bob Dylan just posted in "Artistry" and I though to myself...IB...what about "Hurricane" know, "The man society came to blame, for something that he never done"
It will be original. Maybe I'll qualify for a FUCA.
Boy was I wrong. Let me be the first to say in almost 4 years...fabulous !!!!!

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