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Song Parodies -> "Don't Fear The Burger"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Fear The Reaper"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Blue Oyster Cult

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Fear The Burger"

Parody Written by:

Earl S. Garber

The Lyrics

Written during the latest mad cow scare about 150 miles from here. Another one for the food parody category. Yum!
All our cows are down
Here now on the ground
Heifers don't fear the reaper
When they got prions in the brain (we can be like they are)
Come on baby (don't fear the burger)
Fry it in the pan (don't fear the burger)
We'll be able to eat (don't fear the burger)
I'm your burger man
La-la-la-mad cow
la-la-la-mad cow

Dinnertime is done
Dishwasher will run
Romeo and Juliet
Ate beef like you and me (Romeo and Juliet)
40 million men and women everyday (like Romeo and Juliet)
40 million men and women everyday (ate burgers too)
Another 40 million eating everyday (we can eat like they do)
Come on baby (don't fear the burger)
Baby have a steak (don't fear the burger)
We'll be able to eat (don't fear the burger)
Fry, broil, or bake
La-la-la-mad cow
la-la-la-mad cow

Whoppers two for one
Buy before they're gone
Sale is over at midnight
And it was clear a Big Mac won't do
Then the door was open and the smell appeared
Ate so fast that it disappeared
The rumors flew then he appeared (saying don't be afraid)
Come on baby (It's in England not here)
And she ran to him (rumors started to fly)
They read papers that said said it's a lie (she had become like they are)
She had burgers too (she had become like they are)
Come on baby (don't fear the burger)

All the cows are dead
Sponge brains in their head
Bossy don't fear the reaper
Nor do the ones fed spine or the brain (we can eat like they do)
Come on baby (don't fear the burger)
Beef tacos now (don't fear the burger)
We'll be able to eat (don't fear the burger)
It's only one cow
La-la-la-mad cow
la-la-la-mad cow

Breakfast time is done
Cereal box is gone
Romeo and Juliet
Had milk on cereal too (Romeo and Juliet)
It's heated for your safety everyday (like many other products)
It's pasturized as well anyway (redefine safety)
Another 40,000 gallons everyday (but it's mutated protein)
Come on baby (don't fear the burger)
Baby, not an issue (don't fear the burger)
We'll be able to eat (don't fear the burger)
Baby, ONLY brain tissue
La-la-la-mad cow
la-la-la-mad cow

Two patties on one
Triple stacks are gone
Open all night for drive-through
And she was hungry, couldn't go on
Then the door was open and the guy appeared
The french fries too then disappeared
The burgers too then he appeared (saying don't be afraid)
Come on baby (and she had a Sprite)
And she ran to him (then they started to drink)
They ordered more and said goodbye (she had burgers like they did)
She had taken his change (she ate Whoppers like they did)
Come on baby (don't fear the burger)
Home of the Old Comedywriter Comedy that tastes good and is less filling.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 0
 
 2   1
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
"Romeo and Juliet...ate burgers too" .... Earl, I give you 555 strictly on the basis of that. This parody is not rare, not medium, but very, very well-done.
Meriadoc - March 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Is this song really this long? :-o Anyway, good job!

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