Oh, how our phone bills have grown
Here's something to bring them down
Reasons not to fear the beeper:
For one thing it will not fry your brain (we can be drug dealers)
It clips on, baby (don't fear the beeper)
It's how cell phones began (don't fear the beeper)
Can even work if you fly (don't fear the beeper)
You can get a cheap plan

(La-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la-la)

Verizon is done
Here but soon they'll be gone
Roaming charges building up
Over billing you entirely (Roaming charges building up)
1000 minutes used up in 7 days (static, garbled, disconnect)
1000 minutes used up in 7 days (can you hear me now?)
Another 1000 wouldn't matter anyway (it displays their number)
Call them back later (don't fear the beeper)
Hold it in your hand (don't fear the beeper)
You should give it a try (don't fear the beeper)
Do you understand?

(La-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la-la, guitar solo)

Paged in the AM after 1
Someone's computer wouldn't run
She was up late working
And it was clear that she couldn't hold on
Said: 'the file was open, a message appeared'
'Something blew, the screen disappeared'
She had lost everything, that was her worst fear (He said don't be afraid)
'Please Come and help me' (and he eased her fear)
She said 'Thank you' to him (then he started to drive)
Problem solved and he said goodbye (she had called his pager)
Then she shook his hand (glad she called his pager)
Come on, Page me (don't fear the beeper)