Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "I Just Need Help Conceiving"

Original Song Title:

"I Just Can’t Help Believing"

Original Performer:

B.J. Thomas

Parody Song Title:

"I Just Need Help Conceiving"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

I just need help conceiving
To compile up somethin’ fetal
In a dish of petrie spawning
And the promise of invitro ‘tween my thighs

Man, I just need help conceiving
Uncomplying ovums hiding
Had a chart - we tracked the rhythm method, tried

Each time the sperm has gone astray
Each time the sperm has gone astray
Assured of much dismay…

I just need help conceiving
Need a slip from gland of my man
To a-seal to wall of ut’rus
Or some emb’ros grown without, in womb be shoved

Planned - I just need help conceiving
Eggs be doused with seed, pelagic
And affixed vaginal: one, two, three or f-i-i-ive

Each time the sperm has gone astray
(This time for sperm we’re gonna pay)
This time his sperm done Onan way
And fer-ti-lize we may

(instrumental interlude – the Waltz of the Little-Tailed Soldiers)

I’ll bear (with luck) a ba-a-abe

(just need help conceiving)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

2Eagle - April 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Do you watch re runs of Friends? Monica at least adopted. Good parody - 5's. 7ez - somehow that security code doesn't fit the theme.
TJC - April 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Nicely conceived medical musical--you use the rhythm method? ('BJ' Thomas, indeed... LOL!)
alvin - April 03, 2009 - Report this comment
lmao @ little tailed soldiers
mandamoo - April 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Great theme! Love how the Americans spell foetal hehe ;) Multiple 5s!!!

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/bjthomas35.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 830