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Song Parodies -> "Paramus Man"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Paramus Man"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

This is the third time I've parodied "Piano Man" on this site. One of these days, I'm gonna get it right. Bergen County, New Jersey has "blue laws," meaning you can't shop on Sunday. So, naturally, everyone goes to the Garden State Plaza and Paramus Park malls on Saturday, making Routes 17 and 4 the world's largest parking lot -- a title also given to the Long Island Expressway, but, please.
It's nine o'clock on a Saturday.
The mall-openers shuffle in.
There's an old man standin' at the door
waitin' for a fix on his engine.

He says, "Son, can I give you a memory?
I shopped here when the store was called Hahne's.
It was cheap and so sweet, and I loved it complete
'til it went through the bankruptcy pains."
La-da-da, da-de-da, la-da, la-de-da, da-dum.

"Show us a sale, you're the Paramus Man.
Show us a sale tonight.
Well, we're all here to spend Super Saturday
so give us the price that's all right."

Now John's at the bar there at Charlie Brown's.
He gets me my drinks for free.
And he's quick with joke, but the law says no smoke
and there's someplace that he'd rather be.

He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me,"
and the smile runs away from his face.
"Well, I'm sure that I may take the buses home
'cause I'll never find my parking space."
La-da-da, da-de-da, la-da, la-de-da, da-dum.

Now Paul is a Foot Locker specialist
who never had time for a lunch.
And he's talking with Davey who works at Old Navy
unless there's a new layoff crunch.

And the waitress is asking for Sunday off
as the manager laughs at her goof.
Yes they're sharing a drink called "silliness"
but it's better than tips going "Poof!"

"Show us a sale, you're the Paramus Man.
Show us a sale tonight.
Well, we're all here to spend Super Saturday
so give us the price that's all right."

It's a pretty big crowd for a Saturday
and the manager gives me a smile
'cause he knows that it's me who works just about for free
and he's gotten away with it for a while.

And all Paramus, it sounds like a carnival
and Route 17's jammed up like Route 4
and they come up to me and they ask me with glee,
"What the hell's on sale here at this store?"
La-da-da, da-de-da, la-da, la-de-da, da-dum.

"Show us a sale, you're the Paramus Man.
Show us a sale tonight.
Well, we're all here to spend Super Saturday
so give us the price that's all right."

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
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User Comments

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Pat - July 31, 2003 - Report this comment
Michael...I really like this one...practice must make perfect!
Wild Man - July 31, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice job, Man.
John Jenkins - July 31, 2003 - Report this comment
Actually, Michael, you did "get it right" when you did your "Schiano Man" parody; but I liked this one almost as much.

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