Things I've regretted in all my days
Were personal things I won't relate
Well, except for the madness that you're up to, mate
We all gotta have dumb ones
Thought I'd show you a real cool thing I obtained:
A tome with a secret hole squirreled away
Who needs all that prose written there on the page
When instead there's hidden rum?

But not all my books hide stuff
That's what I said
Not all my books hide stuff
Not all my books hide stuff

Don't know how one could come to that conclusion now
You really stretched it, I have no doubt
I would be laughing and pretty loud
But what followed was far less fun
You tore through my shelving, threw all of my
Books on the floor because you couldn't find
More booze or keys or whatever, surprised
You've jumped all of the guns

Buddy, not all my books hide stuff
Ooh-whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh
I tell ya, not all my books hide stuff
Not all my books hide stuff

You've ripped apart my desk for your search for any holed location
But it's the wrong damn call, mmm-mmm, you will find bog all
What a dipshit, it seems that no amount of my confirmation
Will make your dumb ass cease because you wanna find my secret weed, oh-whoa-whoa-oh
I guess that I should be glad that you've restrained
From tearing up pages in your stupid haste
But you're still making a mess I hope you won't abstain
From cleaning up once you're done

And learned that not all my books hide stuff
Oh-oh-ho, buddy
I tell ya, not all my books hide stuff
Not all my books hide stuff

Now that all my books are on the floor, I hope that your infatuation
For finding my knives or keys will be as empty as my shelves now, please, oh-whoa-whoa-oh
But I, but I guess I'm the dipshit, you've run away
"The library must have something!" Wait
You've gotta be kidding or just gone insane
Wish I had more secret rum

You moron, not all the books hide stuff
Told you, buddy
Should know that not all the books hide stuff
Not all the books hide stuff
Not all the books
Not all the books hide stuff
Ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh
Not all the books hide stuff
Not all the books hide stuff
Hoo-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh