Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Seventy"

Original Song Title:

"Honesty"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Seventy"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Happy 70th Birthday to the Piano Man. This also owes a little to a bit by another Bronx native, comedian Robert Klein, who did “The Colonoscopy Song.”
(instrumental opening)

If you reach a certain age
some wisdom you can find.
You can have the smarts you need to live.
But you might lose some hair and teeth.
You might go most deaf or blind.
A doctor’s cures might be so hard to give.

Seventy
is such a weighty word.
Everything aches through and through.
Seventy
has Billy reached, I’ve heard
but still gets concert revenue!

You can always find someone
properly analyze
and ask you, “Can you please roll up your sleeve?”
But I don’t want some pretty face
to make blood pressure rise.
All I want is this pain in relief!

Seventy
is such a weighty word.
Everything aches through and through.
Seventy
has Billy reached, I’ve heard
but still gets concert revenue!

I can find a doctor!
I can find a friend!
I get colonoscopy
into the bitter end!
Anyone can comfort me
with Medicare again.
I know.
(I know.)
I know, whoa, whoa, whoa…

When it’s deep inside of me
I won’t be concerned.
It’s better than to know I’ll soon be gone.
But arthritis severity
makes it hurt each time I turn.
Give me the pills that I depend upon!

Seventy
is such a weighty word.
Everything aches through and through.
Seventy
has Billy reached, I’ve heard
but still gets concert revenue!

(instrumental close)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - May 09, 2019 - Report this comment
A friend of mine told me the other day that his 90-year-old mother has a boy friend who's 99. And he's pressuring her for sex. Bill Joel at 70 is just a young whipper snapper. Former President Obama is younger than I am. Remember "The Fonz"? Henry Winkler, the embodiment of leather-jacketed "cool" is doing TV ads for old age annuities. Just saw "Wally" and "The Beaver" on TV yesterday. They look like I do now. When my record collectors club meets, instead of music, we now talk about infirmities and prescription medications. Security code for this comment "RPG". The late Robert D. Arndt would have liked that.
CML - May 09, 2019 - Report this comment
Speaking of Tony Dow and Jerry Mathers, did you hear the rumor that, after their show ended, the two of them went to the Middle East and starred in a show called "Cleave it From Theiver"? And that they went under the names "Muhammad Wali" and "Jareem Abdul Bivar" …. Course you didn't; cause tht's just ridiculous. On the other hand (badoom tssh!) they actually did spend some at Caesar's Palace as Elvis impersonators in a show called "Beaver Loves Vegas"
2Eagle - May 09, 2019 - Report this comment
You, me and the two Beatles.
Jonathan Spurlock - May 09, 2019 - Report this comment
Don't forget Jagger and friends. Most of the "Stones" are on the north side of 70 themselves!
Jonathan - May 09, 2019 - Report this comment
I may not always agree with you, Michael, but Billy Joel is an absolute legend! 5s
Darius Whitehead - May 09, 2019 - Report this comment
Billy Joel is totally our favorite legend of all time, he's love, he's life. 5s for that one.
Michael Pacholek - May 11, 2019 - Report this comment
"Muhammad Wali," CML? You mean he changed his name from "Smashus Clay"?
CML - May 12, 2019 - Report this comment
Yes he did, Mike ... but you may recall, that happened only after he defeated Sunni Liston in the 50 meter stoning event at the 1965 Shari'ah Games

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/billyjoel412.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 199